A Parable from The Gay Gospel of St. Pr0nubus
Being an Extract From an Ancient Text
i An oil-faced spotty teenager did ask Jesus, how can I get eternal life? It soundeth cool. ii Jesus said, What is written in the Law? and the Youth recited: iii Thou shalt love the Lord they God with all they heart, with all thy soul, with all thy strength. with all of thine heart and mind, and thou shalt love thy neighbour as theyself. iv The youth knew this, for it is taught in school even in the early years. But he wanted not to look stupid in front of his classmates, and therefore did he ask of Jesus, And who is my neighbour? v And Jesus replied, vi A man was on his way from New York to Boston when he was attacked by a gang; they stripped him naked and beat him up and left him tied to a fence by the side of the road. vii It so happened that a Roman Cathcolic Priest was driving along the road; the Priest saw, and quickly moved on, for he was already late for a meeting with a Cardinal. viii So too a lawyer walked past, but did not dare help the man, for fear of a lawsuit should the man die. ix And then a gay cock-sucking faggot minced past. He saw the injured man, and was moved to pity. x He went up and bandaged his wounds, tearing off his own shirt to use for cloth. xi Then he drove the man to hospital, and even paid the deposit himself. xii The next day the faggot visited the injured man in hostpital to make sure he was being well cared for. xiii Now I say unto you, which one of these three do you think was neighbour to the one who was robbed? xiv And the acne-ridden youth replied, The one who showed him kindness. xv Jesus said, Now, go and do the same yourself.