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To share a night naked with a boy whom you have
enslaved, branded, castrated and buggered mercilessly, and to find that the boy
is in love with you, is an unusual experience, at least for me. We slept in
each other's arms for a while, but we were both too tense; I asked Heesm where
he had grown up, and he told me his story, which I give you now exactly as he
told it and sang it, that it may be Engraved forever. I understand almost all
of his animal-noises now, and when there is difficulty I reach into his mind.
A long long time ago the Gods walked the
earth and there were only two suns. After the Gold Disk Wars the Gods
retreated. The Gods were very wise. They knew that we would need them again. So
they did not destroy all of their secrets, but they hid them.
The secrets of the Gods were hidden in three
places. One of those was in the songs of the People who Watch. That is my
people, and I am a Watcher.
When the land is dry
When the last army has passed,
When the third moon is high,
When the third sun rises fast
The warrior-mage draws nigh,
Riding six legs so tall,
Bright orange his steed,
Pure gold his sword,
He opens wide the gate
And the Gods are seen again.
The Watchers sing that song every day when
the Red Orb rises and sets. We know two hundred and sixteen songs that the Gods
taught, but that is the first.
I am sixteen years old. When I am eighteen,
I'll get my third Year of Learning, and then I'll be a man. Or I would have
been.
Here the boy looked down where I had gelded him
and swallowed back some tears. I felt like using him then, because he felt a
pain of Abandonment, of a Quest Failed, of Disappointment, of Betrayal, and
these are the strongest of all emotions. But he feels also Love, which is new
to me, and seems also strong.
Every watcher carries a spare robe at all
times, because we know that the Warrior-Mage will be naked. When you found me,
O Master, I was bathing, and the robe I carried was spread by the side of the
lake. But I was naked when you found me, as I am still.
Each year we gather at the Lesser Lake, five
days' walk from the Mountains that we are forbidden to enter. We sing all the
songs, so that we Remember. The seers knew it was time, that this would be the year.
So all of us were excited. Whoever found the Warrior-Mage and gave him his robe
would become his slave, would die for him, would bring back the Gods. And it's
me.
All my life I have drawn Power from the deaths
of others, from their dying agonies. But now, I do not want Heesm to die. Yet
if he is right, he must die for me. I lay awake a long time thinking on this.
O My Brother, I remain your loving brother,
servant and slave in all things, Heir to the Second Seat in Kehahn the
Impregnable, Sealed With the Pain of Many,
Khadi
May the lingering deaths of your enemies feed your inner lust.
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