Khadi's Story 5: A Sword, a Palace and a Hug in the Dark |
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We had been to the outer hall of the Palace and had been told to return the next day. On our way out of the Palace, a guard mentioned that all slaves must be collared and branded, so I decided to look for a smithy. I wasn't sure that all the slaves I had seen had been collared, but at least a few had, and it is well known that soldiers, like slaves, cannot lie. I wandered around the dirty corridors of the city. Some of them smell different from others, but they are all filthy. These people do not eat their dung, but collect it in buckets and throw it from room to corridor where others walk in it. Such a waste. There are women on these streets; they flit from place to place, and look down when men speak with them, but they are treated as humans, and they still have hands and feet. Perhaps they are sterile. Or perhaps, unlike us, they have no shortage of women who can breed, and therefore can afford to treat them differently. I found only one smithy, not far from the city gate; perhaps there are others, but I did not see them. I entered and said that I needed a collar for the boy, and a branding. The smithy nodded, measured the boy's neck with a braid, and fetched a length of iron to heat. While he was thus employed I looked around and saw that he worked with iron and tin but not steel, although his forge was hot and he had everything that was needed. They had lost the skill. The smith bent the iron into a collar and had the boy lie face down on a stone table with fetters for wrists and ankles and a bar that came down over his back; there was a bowl-shaped depression for the boy's head. The collar went under the boy's head and then the two red-hot ends were joined behind his neck, soliciting a delightful scream. The smith then pressed the boy's head to one side and touched a red-hot brand to his face just in front of the right ear, and all was done. We left the slave bound for a while and spoke. The smith was educated, although sometimes he reverted to animal-noises; I was unable able to ask him why he did not work with steel or other alloys, but in the end I agreed to demonstrate. We built up the fire and I added iron and some soot into the crucible, making three new strips of metal in the smith's moulds, when these strips were purely red-hot and I could handle them I twisted them into a braid and hammered them flat, heated them more, then smoothed them between my fingers. The boy's screaming had strengthened me even more, and by the time I quenched the blade in water I had shaped a small slot near the tip, imbued it with Evisceration and Searing Pain. I gave the blade to the smith to try out, and we talked about the hilt for it; I ran my fingers down the blade one last time to give it Sharpness and Durability, then gave it a plain hilt sufficient to balance it. The smith hefted the blade, and felt the edge gingerly; his eyes were wide. He fetched one of the oddly shaped burning stones that he kept for the lower temperature work, and went to raise the sword; I stopped him in time, grasped his mighty forearm, and lowered it, smiling, so that the blade was just above the rock; as the smith relaxed his arm, the sword cleaved the rock in twain with its own weight, and if he had not stopped it would have split his anvil under it. The huge man could not hide his excitement, and told me his name, Elbry. I said that my name was Khadi, although I had already told him this; seeing my confusion, he explained that in Kred'Nos people do not readily share their names, for the few users of the Power here can command people if they know their names. So I shall try not to call him by his name, lest I use it accidentally. For my own part, I must hope that the shamans here will have no cause to attack me, or, if they do, that I am strong enough. The smith mentioned that I wore no klodes, and was even more surprised that I was able to handle the hot metal. I laughed and went and sat inside his furnace for a moment! When I came out, but a moment later, his three apprentices knelt before me. They glanced at each other uncertainly, and then took off their klodes. There was some Power within one of them, although not much; I took him by the shoulders and gave him Protection from Fire and Heat, and his eyes widened. He Knew, for he approached the furnace and then climbed in; he was nervous though, and did not stay long. The other two apprentices kissed his feet when he emerged unscathed, but foolishly he took no advantage of new status, but let them stand and hugged them. By this time it was early evening, and the smith suggested that we all go to a nearby place called Inn , where after drinking some urine served, oddly, in metal cups, I felt moved to sing several of the Lesser Ballads. The people there appeared very enthusiastic, but afterwards I needed to Clear my head. They served bowls of a strange food there, which filled the stomach but gave no Power. When we went to leave, the Inn-keeper said that I owed three coins. I had been given leave by the Art Lords to Take from the gold pile at Kehahn, and I had already done this at the gate of the city. Now that the Inn-keeper spoke of coins and showed me several, I knew that he meant the golden discs that we keep, and gave him three of those. He appeared very much surprised, and when we had left Inn the smith said I should not be so ready to part with them, for that gold coins were very much more valuable than silver or bronze. I do not know why this should be, when gold is so much more common than iron, but I took careful note. I had left the boy still bound on the stone table at the smithy, for he was greatly weakened, so now I unbound him and gave him food and drink. He had been crying. I contemplated Enslaving him, but it has been useful to learn the animal-noises from him, and so I left his mind intact. We put him inside a cage with two other slaves the smith keeps, and I slept inside the furnace. When I awoke, the apprentices were still without klodes, but they had made the slaves sweep and tidy the smithy, and I got out of the furnace so that they could clean the fire-pit. I noticed that the smith's slaves, in addition to being collared and branded, were also gelded; I asked the smith about this and he said it made the slaves more obedient, and that he could arrange it for later that same morning. The boy had clearly worked out what we were discussing, for he prostrated himself and licked my feet the whole time. I picked him up and used him; the smith said that I could use his other slaves too, whenever I wanted, so before long I was again strong in the Power. The smith came with me as far as the gelder's. After the boy was castrated and I had eaten, I gave him some Strength, enough that he could come with me to the palace; he wept until his eyes were dry, and for the first time I wondered if he might actually have feelings of his own. I had never before imagined myself in the place of another, and this felt strange. The Art Lords at Kehahn teach such things to one another, but it is not considered important even for Kings. Yet, it is a strange skill, and left me vaguely unsettled. * We arrived at the palace, and again were told to return on the morrow. But I Reached for the bone sliver bearing my name, and saw that it had been destroyed. The official shrugged, and I asked how I was to obtain an audience more quickly. I asked if they would like to torture my slave to death, and was greeted with odd stares; the official said that I must wear klodes and boots, and abase myself. I replied to say again that I am a Prince of Kehahn the Impregnable, and abase myself before none. At this, the official gestured in the air, and guards from around the room came and surrounded us. Progress! I clapped my hands and said, Take us forth! The guards led us through a door and down some steps along a corridor with a cold smooth stone floor, and into a small room at the end of it; then they left and locked the door. I realised that they did not mean to honour us by this treatment. The boy sat in a corner hugging his knees, rocking from side to side and weeping loudly. For an instant I entered his mind, to see if he was broken; he was not, but he had despaired and was filed with a sense of lost hope so overpowering that I felt pity for him, sat down beside him and hugged him. After a time he stopped weeping and looked up into my eyes; I was reminded of the pet blood-rat I had had as a child. When finally the boy spoke, it was to say that he was sure we would be put to death on the morrow, and that there was no bearing beast to rescue me this time. I do not know why, but I kissed him, and explained to him that I would use him hard so that my Power was renewed, and that then they would not be able to execute us. He looked at me for a time, considering, and then spoke. They were not words I had expected to hear from a slave. Master, I know you own me. But I love you. If it helps make you stronger to hurt me, if you need to hurt me, I understand and he looked at me as trustingly as a rat in a kitchen. He was telling the truth, too. I had not looked for affection in a companion; in Kehahn we cannot afford to take lovers, for it is every man's duty to breed with the women-slaves and to get along with other. Outside, beyond the Tunnel, perhaps people feel affection one for another, and act on these feelings. Looking Within, I saw that I loved this boy deeply, who had saved my life and who had given everything for me. But I had had him collared and branded as my slave, and had had him gelded, which perhaps are not common ways to treat one's friend. I did not even know his name. I think at that point I was more ashamed of myself than I have ever been, even when I first killed a man and forgot to torture him. He was utterly helpless and dependent upon me, and I had not been a good friend to him. Sometimes when we realise we have done wrong, the Gods inspire us to grow and to learn; at other times we are too proud, and hide from our Path. I am a Prince of the Hidden Fortress, which is the last bastion of the Ancient Knowledge of Art'Ia, the destroyed land, and I must not show weakness. I should have enslaved the boy when I first met him, and destroyed his mind. But it was too late, for to do that now would be to hurt me, to destroy a part of myself. Pain, torture and the suffering of the weak are the nourishment of the strong. Thus we are taught, and thus it has always been for us. Honour is in remembering, and in keeping alive the Traditions. I had done wrong, but now I had no choice but to continue. I could not allow my Mission to be delayed. I had only a few short weeks to find the Third Key of Art'Kennon, and to spend time Healing myself from a defective emotion could take too long. So I reasoned, holding this boy close to myself. Logical though I was, my tears showed me mistaken. I resolved that I would treat the boy from that moment on as a friend, at least in private. In public he would remain my slave, for we had been seen together in that way. How could I tell him this without admitting I had been wrong? While I was pondering, the boy solved my problem, for he kissed me on the cheek and said, My name was Heesm, and I am sixteen years old, it is old enough in my home that I can choose to be yours. Now I will have whatever name you give me. You do not need to be only my slave any more. I love you, I have hurt you, and from this moment I will protect you. Wear the collar in this city, and when we leave it I will free you, and heal you, and you can be my friend. I did not know how to say lover, for it is an archaic symbol known to us only in the Engravings, but I knew that that was what must be. It was not enough: I said more. I have been to sixteen Festivals; that is, I am nineteen years old (I counted them on fingers and toes, for once glad that I was not yet twenty-one!) you know that my name is Khadi, which in our language means Pain. Your name means something in our language too. Do you know what? The boy Heesm shook his head, No. It means, key.
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