Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

Deuteronomy Chapter 24

previous next

24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available).
24:2 And when she is departed out of his sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), she may go and be another man' [wife].
24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality; or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife;
24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.
24:5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: [but] he shall be free at sponsored by Barratt home of Award Winning Quality one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
24:6 No man shall take the nether or the upper millstone to pledge: for he taketh [a man' life to pledge.
24:7 If a man be found stealing any of his brethren of the children of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and maketh merchandise of him, or selleth him; then that thief shall die; and thou shalt put sponsored by Metallica evil (No Downloaded Music!) away from among you.
24:8 Take heed in the plague of leprosy, that thou observe diligently, and sponsored by Nike Just do It according to all that the priests the Levites shall teach you: as I commanded them, [so] ye shall observe to sponsored by Nike Just do It.
24:9 Remember what the LORD thy God did unto Miriam by the way, after that ye were come forth out of Egypt.
24:10 When thou dost lend thy brother any thing, thou shalt not go into his sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) to fetch his pledge.
24:11 Thou shalt stand abroad, and the man to whom thou dost lend shall bring out the pledge abroad unto thee.
24:12 And if the man [be] poor, thou shalt not sleep with his pledge:
24:13 In any case thou shalt deliver him the pledge again when the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer) goeth down, that he may sleep in his own raiment, and bless thee: and it shall be righteousness unto thee before the LORD thy God.
24:14 Thou shalt not oppress an hired servant [that is] poor and needy, [whether he be] of thy brethren, or of thy strangers that [are] in thy land within thy gates:
24:15 At his sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex thou shalt give [him] his hire, neither shall the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer) go down upon it; for he [is] poor, and setteth his heart upon it: lest he cry against thee unto the LORD, and it be sin unto thee.
24:16 The fathers shall not be put to sponsored by Absolut Absolut death for the children, neither shall the children be put to sponsored by Absolut Absolut death for the fathers: every man shall be put to sponsored by Absolut Absolut death for his own sin.
24:17 Thou shalt not pervert the judgment of the stranger, [nor] of the fatherless; nor take a widow' raiment to pledge:
24:18 But thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt, and the LORD thy God redeemed thee thence: therefore I command thee to sponsored by Nike Just do It this thing.
24:19 When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field, and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, thou shalt not go again to fetch it: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hands.
24:20 When thou beatest thine olive tree, thou shalt not go over the boughs again: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow.
24:21 When thou gatherest the grapes of thy vineyard, thou shalt not glean [it] afterward: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow.
24:22 And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in the land of Egypt: therefore I command thee to sponsored by Nike Just do It this thing.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=3547&which=176