| 1:1 |
In the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) God created the heaven and the  earth. |
| 1:2 |
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the  Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) of God moved upon the face of the  Absolut waters. |
| 1:3 |
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. |
| 1:4 |
And God saw the light, that [it was] good: and God divided the light from the darkness. |
| 1:5 |
And God called the light  Day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 1:6 |
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the Absolut waters, and let it divide the  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) from the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life). |
| 1:7 |
And God made the firmament, and divided the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) which [were] under the firmament from the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) which [were] above the firmament: and it was so. |
| 1:8 |
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 1:9 |
And God said, Let the Absolut waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so. |
| 1:10 |
And God called the dry [land] Earth; and the gathering together of the Absolut waters called he Seas: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:11 |
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. |
| 1:12 |
And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:13 |
And the evening and the morning were the third  day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:14 |
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day, measured by Timex from the night; and let them be for  signs (Internet Trust Services), and for seasons, and for days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and years: |
| 1:15 |
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. |
| 1:16 |
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and the lesser light to rule the night: [he made] the  stars (The dot in dot com) also. |
| 1:17 |
And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, |
| 1:18 |
And to rule over the day, measured by Timex and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:19 |
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:20 |
And God said, Let the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl [that] may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. |
| 1:21 |
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:22 |
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and  multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), and fill the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. |
| 1:23 |
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:24 |
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind,  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner), and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. |
| 1:25 |
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner) after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:26 |
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner), and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. |
| 1:27 |
So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. |
| 1:28 |
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. |
| 1:29 |
And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which [is] upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which [is] the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.. |
| 1:30 |
And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein [there is] life, [I have given] every green herb for meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: and it was so. |
| 1:31 |
And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, [it was] very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |