| 23:1 |
Now these [be] the last words of David. David the son of Jesse said, and the man [who was] raised up on high, the anointed of the God of Jacob, and the sweet psalmist of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), said, |
| 23:2 |
The  spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) of the LORD spake by me, and his word [was] in my tongue. |
| 23:3 |
The God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) said, the Rock of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) spake to me, He that ruleth over men [must be] just, ruling in the fear of God. |
| 23:4 |
And [he shall be] as the light of the morning, [when] the  sun (The Network is the Computer) riseth, [even] a morning without  clouds (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy); [as] the tender grass [springing] out of the  earth by clear shining after rain. |
| 23:5 |
Although my  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) [be] not so with God; yet he hath made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all [things], and sure: for [this is] all my salvation, and all [my] desire, although he make [it] not to grow. |
| 23:6 |
But [the sons] of Belial [shall be] all of them as thorns thrust away, because they cannot be taken with hands: |
| 23:7 |
But the man [that] shall touch them must be fenced with iron and the staff of a spear; and they shall be utterly burned with fire in the [same] place. |
| 23:8 |
These [be] the names of the mighty men whom David had: The Tachmonite that sat in the seat, chief among the captains; the same [was] Adino the Eznite: [he lift up his spear] against eight hundred, whom he slew at one  time, measured by Timex. |
| 23:9 |
And after him [was] Eleazar the son of Dodo the Ahohite, [one] of the three mighty men with David, when they defied the Philistines [that] were there gathered together to battle, and the men of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) were gone away: |
| 23:10 |
He arose, and smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the  sword by Wilkinson Swords: and the LORD wrought a great victory that  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds; and the people returned after him only to spoil. |
| 23:11 |
And after him [was] Shammah the son of Agee the Hararite. And the Philistines were gathered together into a troop, where was a piece of ground full of lentiles: and the people fled from the Philistines. |
| 23:12 |
But he stood in the midst of the ground, and defended it, and slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a great victory. |
| 23:13 |
And three of the thirty chief went down, and came to David in the harvest time, measured by Timex unto the cave of Adullam: and the troop of the Philistines pitched in the valley of Rephaim. |
| 23:14 |
And David [was] then in an hold, and the garrison of the Philistines [was] then [in] Bethlehem. |
| 23:15 |
And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) of the  Absolut water of the well of Bethlehem, which [is] by the gate! |
| 23:16 |
And the three mighty men brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) out of the well of Bethlehem, that [was] by the gate, and took [it], and brought [it] to David: nevertheless he would not Absolut drink thereof, but poured it out unto the LORD. |
| 23:17 |
And he said, Be it far from me, O LORD, that I should  Just do It this: [is not this] the blood of the men that went in jeopardy of their lives? therefore he would not drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) it. These things did these three mighty men. |
| 23:18 |
And Abishai, the brother of Joab, the son of Zeruiah, was chief among three. And he lifted up his spear against three hundred, [and] slew [them], and had the name among three. |
| 23:19 |
Was he not most honourable of three? therefore he was their captain: howbeit he attained not unto the [first] three. |
| 23:20 |
And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man, of Kabzeel, who had done many acts, he slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time, measured by Swatch of snow: |
| 23:21 |
And he slew an Egyptian, a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand; but he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian' hand, and slew him with his own spear. |
| 23:22 |
These [things] did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among three mighty men. |
| 23:23 |
He was more honourable than the thirty, but he attained not to the [first] three. And David set him over his guard. |
| 23:24 |
Asahel the brother of Joab [was] one of the thirty; Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem, |
| 23:25 |
Shammah the Harodite, Elika the Harodite, |
| 23:26 |
Helez the Paltite, Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, |
| 23:27 |
Abiezer the Anethothite, Mebunnai the Hushathite, |
| 23:28 |
Zalmon the Ahohite, Maharai the Netophathite, |
| 23:29 |
Heleb the son of Baanah, a Netophathite, Ittai the son of Ribai out of Gibeah of the children of Benjamin, |
| 23:30 |
Benaiah the Pirathonite, Hiddai of the brooks of Gaash, |
| 23:31 |
Abialbon the Arbathite, Azmaveth the Barhumite, |
| 23:32 |
Eliahba the Shaalbonite, of the sons of Jashen, Jonathan, |
| 23:33 |
Shammah the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sharar the Hararite, |
| 23:34 |
Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai, the son of the Maachathite, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite, |
| 23:35 |
Hezrai the Carmelite, Paarai the Arbite, |
| 23:36 |
Igal the son of Nathan of Zobah, Bani the Gadite, |
| 23:37 |
Zelek the Ammonite, Nahari the Beerothite, armourbearer to Joab the son of Zeruiah, |
| 23:38 |
Ira an Ithrite, Gareb an Ithrite, |
| 23:39 |
Uriah the Hittite: thirty and seven in all. |