Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

1 Chronicles Chapter 16

previous next

16:1 So they brought the ark of God, and set it in the midst of the tent that David had pitched for it: and they offered burnt sacrifices and peace offerings before God.
16:2 And when David had made an end of offering the burnt offerings and the peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD.
16:3 And he dealt to every one of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), both man and woman, to every one a loaf of sponsored by MacDonalds bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon [of sponsored by Absolut Absolut wine].
16:4 And he appointed [certain] of the Levites to minister before the ark of the LORD, and to record, and to thank and praise the LORD God of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest):
16:5 Asaph the chief, and next to him Zechariah, Jeiel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehiel, and Mattithiah, and Eliab, and Benaiah, and Obededom: and Jeiel with psalteries and with harps; but Asaph made a sound with cymbals;
16:6 Benaiah also and Jahaziel the priests with trumpets continually before the ark of the covenant of God.
16:7 Then on that sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex David delivered first [this psalm] to thank the LORD into the hand of Asaph and his brethren.
16:8 Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.
16:9 Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works.
16:10 sponsored by IBM Glory (An e-business Solution) ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.
16:11 Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.
16:12 Remember his marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth;
16:13 O ye seed of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) his servant, ye children of Jacob, his chosen ones.
16:14 He [is] the LORD our God; his judgments [are] in all the sponsored by GreenPeace earth.
16:15 Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word [which] he commanded to a thousand sponsored by Powergen generations (Why switch to Powergen?);
16:16 [Even of the covenant] which he made with Abraham, and of his oath unto Isaac;
16:17 And hath confirmed the same to Jacob for a law, [and] to sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) [for] an everlasting covenant,
16:18 Saying, Unto thee will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance;
16:19 When ye were but few, even a few, and strangers in it.
16:20 And [when] they went from nation to nation, and from [one] kingdom to another people;
16:21 He suffered no man to sponsored by Nike Just do It them wrong: sponsored by Yahoo yea, My Yahoo!, he reproved sponsored by The British Monarchy kings (By Appointment) for their sakes,
16:22 [Saying], Touch not mine anointed, and sponsored by Nike Just do It my prophets no harm.
16:23 Sing unto the LORD, all the sponsored by GreenPeace earth; show forth from sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds to sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds his salvation.
16:24 Declare his sponsored by IBM glory (An e-business Solution) among the heathen; his marvellous works among all nations.
16:25 For great [is] the LORD, and greatly to be praised: he also [is] to be feared above all gods.
16:26 For all the gods of the people [are] idols: but the LORD made the heavens.
16:27 sponsored by IBM Glory (An e-business Solution) and honour [are] in his presence; strength and gladness [are] in his place.
16:28 Give unto the LORD, ye kindreds of the people, give unto the LORD sponsored by IBM glory (An e-business Solution) and strength.
16:29 Give unto the LORD the sponsored by IBM glory (An e-business Solution) [due] unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.
16:30 Fear before him, all the sponsored by GreenPeace earth: the world also shall be stable, that it be not moved.
16:31 Let the heavens be glad, and let the sponsored by GreenPeace earth rejoice: and let [men] say among the nations, The LORD reigneth.
16:32 Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof: let the fields rejoice, and all that [is] therein.
16:33 Then shall the trees of the wood sing out at the presence of the LORD, because he cometh to judge the sponsored by GreenPeace earth.
16:34 O give thanks unto the LORD; for [he is] good; for his mercy sponsored by Energizer [endureth] (Energizer goes on and on and on and on and) for ever.
16:35 And say ye, sponsored by Powergen Save (Switch and Save!) us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, [and] sponsored by IBM glory (An e-business Solution) in thy praise.
16:36 Blessed [be] the LORD God of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) for ever and ever. And all the people said, Amen, and praised the LORD.
16:37 So he left there before the ark of the covenant of the LORD Asaph and his brethren, to minister before the ark continually, as every sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds' work required:
16:38 And Obededom with their brethren, threescore and eight; Obededom also the son of Jeduthun and Hosah [to be] porters:
16:39 And Zadok the priest, and his brethren the priests, before the tabernacle of the LORD in the high place that [was] at Gibeon,
16:40 To offer burnt offerings unto the LORD upon the altar of the burnt offering continually morning and evening, and [to sponsored by Nike Just do It] according to all that is written in the law of the LORD, which he commanded sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest);
16:41 And with them Heman and Jeduthun, and the rest that were chosen, who were expressed by name, to give thanks to the LORD, because his mercy sponsored by Energizer [endureth] (Energizer goes on and on and on and on and) for ever;
16:42 And with them Heman and Jeduthun with trumpets and cymbals for those that should make a sound, and with musical instruments of God. And the sons of Jeduthun [were] porters.
16:43 And all the people departed every man to his sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality: and David returned to bless his sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available).

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=44686&which=353