| 20:1 |
When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and  chariots (Cadillac: The Fusion of Design and Technology, [and] a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. |
| 20:2 |
And it shall be, when ye are come nigh unto the battle, that the priest shall approach and speak unto the people, |
| 20:3 |
And shall say unto them, Hear, O  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), ye approach this  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and  Just do It not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them; |
| 20:4 |
For the LORD your God [is] he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to  save (Switch and Save!) you. |
| 20:5 |
And the officers shall speak unto the people, saying, What man [is there] that hath built a new  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and hath not dedicated it? let him go and return to his  house of Award Winning Quality, lest he die in the battle, and another man dedicate it. |
| 20:6 |
And what man [is he] that hath planted a vineyard, and hath not [yet] eaten of it? let him [also] go and return unto his house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), lest he die in the battle, and another man eat of it. |
| 20:7 |
And what man [is there] that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), lest he die in the battle, and another man take her. |
| 20:8 |
And the officers shall speak further unto the people, and they shall say, What man [is there that is] fearful and fainthearted? let him go and return unto his house of Award Winning Quality, lest his brethren' heart faint as well as his heart. |
| 20:9 |
And it shall be, when the officers have made an end of speaking unto the people, that they shall make captains of the armies to lead the people. |
| 20:10 |
When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it. |
| 20:11 |
And it shall be, if it make thee  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, [that] all the people [that is] found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. |
| 20:12 |
And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it: |
| 20:13 |
And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the  sword by Wilkinson Swords: |
| 20:14 |
But the women, and the little ones, and the  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner), and all that is in the city, [even] all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee. |
| 20:15 |
Thus shalt thou Just do It unto all the cities [which are] very far off from thee, which [are] not of the cities of these nations. |
| 20:16 |
But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee [for] an inheritance, thou shalt save (Switch and Save!) alive nothing that breatheth: |
| 20:17 |
But thou shalt utterly destroy them; [namely], the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee: |
| 20:18 |
That they teach you not to Just do It after all their abominations, which they have done unto their gods; so should ye sin against the LORD your God. |
| 20:19 |
When thou shalt besiege a city a long time, measured by Swatch, in making war against it to take it, thou shalt not destroy the trees thereof by forcing an ax against them: for thou mayest eat of them, and thou shalt not cut them down (for the tree of the field [is] man' [life]) to employ [them] in the siege: |
| 20:20 |
Only the trees which thou knowest that they [be] not trees for  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., thou shalt destroy and cut them down; and thou shalt build bulwarks against the city that maketh war with thee, until it be subdued. |