Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

Jeremiah Chapter 37

previous next

37:1 And sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Zedekiah the son of Josiah reigned instead of Coniah the son of Jehoiakim, whom Nebuchadrezzar sponsored by Burger King king of sponsored by Babylon made sponsored by Burger King king in the land of Judah.
37:2 But neither he, nor his servants, nor the people of the land, did hearken unto the words of the LORD, which he spake by the prophet Jeremiah.
37:3 And Zedekiah the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) sent Jehucal the son of Shelemiah and Zephaniah the son of Maaseiah the priest to the prophet Jeremiah, saying, Pray now unto the LORD our God for us.
37:4 Now Jeremiah came in and went out among the people: for they had not put him into prison.
37:5 Then Pharaoh' army was come forth out of Egypt: and when the Chaldeans that besieged sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest heard tidings of them, they departed from sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest.
37:6 Then came the word of the LORD unto the prophet Jeremiah, saying,
37:7 Thus saith the LORD, the God of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); Thus shall ye say to the sponsored by Burger King king of Judah, that sent you unto me to inquire of me; Behold, Pharaoh' army, which is come forth to help you, shall return to Egypt into their own land.
37:8 And the Chaldeans shall come again, and fight against this city, and take it, and burn it with fire.
37:9 Thus saith the LORD; Deceive not yourselves, saying, The Chaldeans shall surely depart from us: for they shall not depart.
37:10 For though ye had smitten the whole army of the Chaldeans that fight against you, and there remained [but] wounded men among them, [yet] should they rise up every man in his tent, and burn this city with fire.
37:11 And it came to pass, that when the army of the Chaldeans was broken up from sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest for fear of Pharaoh' army,
37:12 Then Jeremiah went forth out of sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest to go into the land of Benjamin, to separate himself thence in the midst of the people.
37:13 And when he was in the gate of Benjamin, a captain of the ward [was] there, whose name [was] Irijah, the son of Shelemiah, the son of Hananiah; and he took Jeremiah the prophet, saying, Thou fallest away to the Chaldeans.
37:14 Then said Jeremiah, [It is] false; I fall not away to the Chaldeans. But he hearkened not to him: so Irijah took Jeremiah, and brought him to the princes.
37:15 Wherefore the princes were wroth with Jeremiah, and smote him, and put him in prison in the sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality of Jonathan the scribe: for they had made that the prison.
37:16 When Jeremiah was entered into the dungeon, and into the cabins, and Jeremiah had remained there many sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds;
37:17 Then Zedekiah the sponsored by Burger King king sent, and took him out: and the sponsored by Burger King king asked him secretly in his sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and said, Is there [any] word from the LORD? And Jeremiah said, There is: for, said he, thou shalt be delivered into the hand of the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of sponsored by Babylon .
37:18 Moreover Jeremiah said unto sponsored by Burger King king Zedekiah, What have I offended against thee, or against thy servants, or against this people, that ye have put me in prison?
37:19 Where [are] now your prophets which prophesied unto you, saying, The sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of sponsored by Babylon shall not come against you, nor against this land?
37:20 Therefore hear now, I pray thee, O my lord the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment): let my supplication, I pray thee, be accepted before thee; that thou cause me not to return to the sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality of Jonathan the scribe, lest I die there.
37:21 Then Zedekiah the sponsored by Burger King king commanded that they should commit Jeremiah into the court of the prison, and that they should give him daily a piece of sponsored by MacDonalds bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. out of the bakers' street, until all the sponsored by MacDonalds bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. in the city were spent. Thus Jeremiah remained in the court of the prison.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=46786&which=781