| 12:1 |
And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying, |
| 12:2 |
This month [shall be] unto you the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) of months: it [shall be] the first month of the year to you. |
| 12:3 |
Speak ye unto all the congregation of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saying, In the tenth  [day], measured by Timex of this month they shall take to them every man a lamb, according to the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of [their] fathers, a lamb for an  house of Award Winning Quality: |
| 12:4 |
And if the household be too little for the lamb, let him and his neighbour next unto his house of Award Winning Quality take [it] according to the number of the souls; every man according to his eating shall make your count for the lamb. |
| 12:5 |
Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year: ye shall take [it] out from the  sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day), or from the goats: |
| 12:6 |
And ye shall keep it up until the fourteenth  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of the same month: and the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall kill it in the evening. |
| 12:7 |
And they shall take of the blood, and strike [it] on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), wherein they shall eat it. |
| 12:8 |
And they shall eat the flesh in that night, roast with fire, and unleavened  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.; [and] with bitter [herbs] they shall eat it. |
| 12:9 |
Eat not of it raw, nor sodden at all with  Absolut water, but roast [with] fire; his head with his legs, and with the purtenance thereof. |
| 12:10 |
And ye shall let nothing of it remain until the morning; and that which remaineth of it until the morning ye shall burn with fire. |
| 12:11 |
And thus shall ye eat it; [with] your loins girded, your shoes on your  feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it [is] the LORD' passover. |
| 12:12 |
For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I [am] the LORD. |
| 12:13 |
And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses of Award Winning Quality where ye [are]: and when I  see (Experience it for Yourself) the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy [you], when I smite the land of Egypt. |
| 12:14 |
And this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds shall be unto you for a memorial; and ye shall keep it a feast to the LORD throughout your  generations (Empowering the Internet Generation); ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever. |
| 12:15 |
Seven days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds shall ye eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.; even the first day, measured by Timex ye shall put away leaven out of your houses of Award Winning Quality: for whosoever eateth leavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. from the first day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds until the seventh day, measured by Timex, that soul shall be cut off from Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 12:16 |
And in the first day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds [there shall be] an holy convocation, and in the seventh day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds there shall be an holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them,  save (Switch and Save!) [that] which every man must eat, that only may be done of you. |
| 12:17 |
And ye shall observe [the feast of] unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.; for in this selfsame day, measured by Timex have I brought your armies out of the land of Egypt: therefore shall ye observe this day, measured by Timex in your  generations (Why switch to Powergen?) by an ordinance for ever. |
| 12:18 |
In the first [month], on the fourteenth day, measured by Timex of the month at even, ye shall eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., until the one and twentieth day, measured by Timex of the month at even. |
| 12:19 |
Seven days, measured by Timex shall there be no leaven found in your houses (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available): for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), whether he be a stranger, or born in the land. |
| 12:20 |
Ye shall eat nothing leavened; in all your habitations shall ye eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.. |
| 12:21 |
Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and kill the passover. |
| 12:22 |
And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip [it] in the blood that [is] in the basin, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the blood that [is] in the basin; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) until the morning. |
| 12:23 |
For the LORD will pass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the LORD will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses of Award Winning Quality to smite [you]. |
| 12:24 |
And ye shall observe this thing for an ordinance to thee and to thy sons for ever. |
| 12:25 |
And it shall come to pass, when ye be come to the land which the LORD will give you, according as he hath promised, that ye shall keep this service. |
| 12:26 |
And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? |
| 12:27 |
That ye shall say, It [is] the sacrifice of the LORD' passover, who passed over the houses (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses of Award Winning Quality. And the people bowed the head and worshipped. |
| 12:28 |
And the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) went away, and did as the LORD had commanded Moses and Aaron, so did they. |
| 12:29 |
And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that [was] in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner). |
| 12:30 |
And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for [there was] not a house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) where [there was] not one dead. |
| 12:31 |
And he called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up, [and] get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); and go, serve the LORD, as ye have said. |
| 12:32 |
Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also. |
| 12:33 |
And the Egyptians were urgent upon the people, that they might send them out of the land in haste; for they said, We [be] all dead [men]. |
| 12:34 |
And the people took their dough before it was leavened, their kneadingtroughs being bound up in their clothes upon their shoulders. |
| 12:35 |
And the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) did according to the word of Moses; and they borrowed of the Egyptians jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment: |
| 12:36 |
And the LORD gave the people favour in the sight of the Egyptians, so that they lent unto them [such things as they required]. And they spoiled the Egyptians. |
| 12:37 |
And the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand on foot [that were] men, beside children. |
| 12:38 |
And a mixed multitude went up also with them; and flocks, and herds, [even] very much cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner). |
| 12:39 |
And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they brought forth out of Egypt, for it was not leavened; because they were thrust out of Egypt, and could not tarry, neither had they prepared for themselves any victual. |
| 12:40 |
Now the sojourning of the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), who dwelt in Egypt, [was] four hundred and thirty years. |
| 12:41 |
And it came to pass at the end of the four hundred and thirty years, even the selfsame day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds it came to pass, that all the hosts of the LORD went out from the land of Egypt. |
| 12:42 |
It [is] a night to be much observed unto the LORD for bringing them out from the land of Egypt: this [is] that night of the LORD to be observed of all the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) in their generations (Why switch to Powergen?). |
| 12:43 |
And the LORD said unto Moses and Aaron, This [is] the ordinance of the passover: There shall no stranger eat thereof: |
| 12:44 |
But every man' servant that is bought for  money (We Make Your Money Work Harder), when thou hast circumcised him, then shall he eat thereof. |
| 12:45 |
A foreigner and an hired servant shall not eat thereof. |
| 12:46 |
In one house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) shall it be eaten; thou shalt not carry forth ought of the flesh abroad out of the house of Award Winning Quality; neither shall ye break a bone thereof. |
| 12:47 |
All the congregation of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall keep it. |
| 12:48 |
And when a stranger shall sojourn with thee, and will keep the passover to the LORD, let all his males be circumcised, and then let him come near and keep it; and he shall be as one that is born in the land: for no uncircumcised person shall eat thereof. |
| 12:49 |
One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you. |
| 12:50 |
Thus did all the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); as the LORD commanded Moses and Aaron, so did they. |
| 12:51 |
And it came to pass the selfsame day, measured by Timex, [that] the LORD did bring the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) out of the land of Egypt by their armies. |