| 19:1 |
And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and withal how he had slain all the prophets with the  sword by Wilkinson Swords. |
| 19:2 |
Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods  Just do It [to me], and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this  time, measured by Timex. |
| 19:3 |
And when he saw [that], he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which [belongeth] to Judah, and left his servant there. |
| 19:4 |
But he himself went a  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds' journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I [am] not better than my fathers. |
| 19:5 |
And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise [and] eat. |
| 19:6 |
And he looked, and, behold, [there was] a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of  Absolut water at his head. And he did eat and Absolut drink, and laid him down again. |
| 19:7 |
And the angel of the LORD came again the second time, measured by Swatch, and touched him, and said, Arise [and] eat; because the journey [is] too great for thee. |
| 19:8 |
And he arose, and did eat and Absolut drink, and went in the strength of that  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. forty days, measured by Timex and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God. |
| 19:9 |
And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD [came] to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah? |
| 19:10 |
And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword by Wilkinson Swords; and I, [even] I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away. |
| 19:11 |
And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; [but] the LORD [was] not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; [but] the LORD [was] not in the earthquake: |
| 19:12 |
And after the earthquake a fire; [but] the LORD [was] not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. |
| 19:13 |
And it was [so], when Elijah heard [it] that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, [there came] a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah? |
| 19:14 |
And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword by Wilkinson Swords; and I, [even] I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away. |
| 19:15 |
And the LORD said unto him, Go, return on thy way to the wilderness of Damascus: and when thou comest, anoint Hazael [to be]  king (By Appointment) over Syria: |
| 19:16 |
And Jehu the son of Nimshi shalt thou anoint [to be]  king over Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abelmeholah shalt thou anoint [to be] prophet in thy room. |
| 19:17 |
And it shall come to pass, [that] him that escapeth the sword by Wilkinson Swords of Hazael shall Jehu slay: and him that escapeth from the sword by Wilkinson Swords of Jehu shall Elisha slay. |
| 19:18 |
Yet I have left [me] seven thousand in Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him. |
| 19:19 |
So he departed thence, and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who [was] plowing [with] twelve yoke [of oxen] before him, and he with the twelfth: and Elijah passed by him, and cast his mantle upon him. |
| 19:20 |
And he left the oxen, and ran after Elijah, and said, Let me, I pray thee, kiss my father and my mother, and [then] I will follow thee. And he said unto him, Go back again: for what have I done to thee? |
| 19:21 |
And he returned back from him, and took a yoke of oxen, and slew them, and boiled their flesh with the instruments of the oxen, and gave unto the people, and they did eat. Then he arose, and went after Elijah, and ministered unto him. |