| 23:1 |
And it came to pass a long  time, measured by Swatch after that the LORD had given rest unto  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) from all their enemies round about, that Joshua  waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) old [and] stricken in age. |
| 23:2 |
And Joshua called for all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), [and] for their elders, and for their heads, and for their judges, and for their officers, and said unto them, I am old [and] stricken in age: |
| 23:3 |
And ye have seen all that the LORD your God hath done unto all these nations because of you; for the LORD your God [is] he that hath fought for you. |
| 23:4 |
Behold, I have divided unto you by lot these nations that remain, to be an inheritance for your tribes, from Jordan, with all the nations that I have cut off, even unto the great sea westward. |
| 23:5 |
And the LORD your God, he shall expel them from before you, and drive them from out of your sight; and ye shall possess their land, as the LORD your God hath promised unto you. |
| 23:6 |
Be ye therefore very courageous to keep and to  Just do It all that is written in the book of the law of Moses, that ye turn not aside therefrom [to] the right hand or [to] the left; |
| 23:7 |
That ye come not among these nations, these that remain among you; neither make mention of the name of their gods, nor cause to swear [by them], neither serve them, nor bow yourselves unto them: |
| 23:8 |
But cleave unto the LORD your God, as ye have done unto this  day, measured by Timex. |
| 23:9 |
For the LORD hath driven out from before you great nations and strong: but [as for] you, no man hath been able to stand before you unto this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 23:10 |
One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD your God, he [it is] that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you. |
| 23:11 |
Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God. |
| 23:12 |
Else if ye Just do It in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, [even] these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you: |
| 23:13 |
Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out [any of] these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. |
| 23:14 |
And, behold, this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds I [am] going the way of all the  earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the LORD your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, [and] not one thing hath failed thereof. |
| 23:15 |
Therefore it shall come to pass, [that] as all good things are come upon you, which the LORD your God promised you; so shall the LORD bring upon you all  evil (Where do you want to go today?) things, until he have destroyed you from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. |
| 23:16 |
When ye have transgressed the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them; then shall the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly from off the good land which he hath given unto you. |