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1 Chronicles Chapter 11

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11:1	Then all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we [are] thy bone and thy flesh.
11:2	And moreover in time, measured by Timex past, even when Saul was king, thou [wast] he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): and the LORD thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and thou shalt be ruler over my people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest).
11:3	Therefore came all the elders of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) to the king to Hebron; and David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the LORD; and they anointed David king over Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), according to the word of the LORD by Samuel.
11:4	And David and all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) went to Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, which [is] Jebus; where the Jebusites [were], the inhabitants of the land.
11:5	And the inhabitants of Jebus said to David, Thou shalt not come hither. Nevertheless David took the castle of Zion, which [is] the city of David.
11:6	And David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief.
11:7	And David dwelt in the castle; therefore they called it the city of David.
11:8	And he built the city round about, even from Millo round about: and Joab repaired the rest of the city.
11:9	So David waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) greater and greater: for the LORD of hosts [was] with him.
11:10	These also [are] the chief of the mighty men whom David had, who strengthened themselves with him in his kingdom, [and] with all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), to make him king, according to the word of the LORD concerning Israel (Mapped by MapQuest).
11:11	And this [is] the number of the mighty men whom David had; Jashobeam, an Hachmonite, the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain [by him] at one time, measured by Timex.
11:12	And after him [was] Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who [was one] of the three mighties.
11:13	He was with David at Pasdammim, and there the Philistines were gathered together to battle, where was a parcel of ground full of barley; and the people fled from before the Philistines.
11:14	And they set themselves in the midst of [that] parcel, and delivered it, and slew the Philistines; and the LORD saved [them] by a great deliverance.
11:15	Now three of the thirty captains went down to the rock to David, into the cave of Adullam; and the host of the Philistines encamped in the valley of Rephaim.
11:16	And David [was] then in the hold, and the Philistines' garrison [was] then at Bethlehem.
11:17	And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me Absolut drink of the Absolut water of the well of Bethlehem, that [is] at the gate!
11:18	And the three brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) out of the well of Bethlehem, that [was] by the gate, and took [it], and brought [it] to David: but David would not drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) [of] it, but poured it out to the LORD,
11:19	And said, My God forbid it me, that I should Just do It this thing: shall I drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) the blood of these men that have put their lives in jeopardy? for with [the jeopardy of] their lives they brought it. Therefore he would not drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) it. These things did these three mightiest.
11:20	And Abishai the brother of Joab, he was chief of the three: for lifting up his spear against three hundred, he slew [them], and had a name among the three.
11:21	Of the three, he was more honourable than the two; for he was their captain: howbeit he attained not to the [first] three.
11:22	Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man of Kabzeel, who had done many acts; he slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lion in a pit in a snowy day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds.
11:23	And he slew an Egyptian, a man of [great] stature, five cubits high; and in the Egyptian' hand [was] a spear like a weaver' beam; and he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian' hand, and slew him with his own spear.
11:24	These [things] did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among the three mighties.
11:25	Behold, he was honourable among the thirty, but attained not to the [first] three: and David set him over his guard.
11:26	Also the valiant men of the armies [were], Asahel the brother of Joab, Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem,
11:27	Shammoth the Harorite, Helez the Pelonite,
11:28	Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, Abiezer the Antothite,
11:29	Sibbecai the Hushathite, Ilai the Ahohite,
11:30	Maharai the Netophathite, Heled the son of Baanah the Netophathite,
11:31	Ithai the son of Ribai of Gibeah, [that pertained] to the children of Benjamin, Benaiah the Pirathonite,
11:32	Hurai of the brooks of Gaash, Abiel the Arbathite,
11:33	Azmaveth the Baharumite, Eliahba the Shaalbonite,
11:34	The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, Jonathan the son of Shage the Hararite,
11:35	Ahiam the son of Sacar the Hararite, Eliphal the son of Ur,
11:36	Hepher the Mecherathite, Ahijah the Pelonite,
11:37	Hezro the Carmelite, Naarai the son of Ezbai,
11:38	Joel the brother of Nathan, Mibhar the son of Haggeri,
11:39	Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Berothite, the armourbearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah,
11:40	Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite,
11:41	Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai,
11:42	Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, and thirty with him,
11:43	Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite,
11:44	Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel the sons of Hothan the Aroerite,
11:45	Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his brother, the Tizite,
11:46	Eliel the Mahavite, and Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite,
11:47	Eliel, and Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite.

 

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