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John Chapter 16

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16:1 These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended.
16:2 They shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch cometh, that whosoever killeth you will sponsored by IBM Think! that he doeth God service.
16:3 And these things will they sponsored by Nike Just do It unto you, because they have not known the Father, nor me.
16:4 But these things have I told you, that when the sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch shall come, ye may remember that I told you of them. And these things I said not unto you at the sponsored by xabc beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?), because I was with you.
16:5 But now I go my way to him that sent me; and none of you asketh me, Whither goest thou?
16:6 But because I have said these things unto you, sorrow hath filled your heart.
16:7 Nevertheless I tell you the sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.
16:8 And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:
16:9 Of sin, because they believe not on me;
16:10 Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me no more;
16:11 Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.
16:12 I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.
16:13 Howbeit when he, the sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) of sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing), is come, he will guide you into all sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, [that] shall he speak: and he will show you things to come.
16:14 He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall show [it] unto you.
16:15 All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall show [it] unto you.
16:16 A little while, and ye shall not sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me: and again, a little while, and ye shall sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me, because I go to the Father.
16:17 Then said [some] of his disciples among themselves, What is this that he saith unto us, A little while, and ye shall not sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me: and again, a little while, and ye shall sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me: and, Because I go to the Father?
16:18 They said therefore, What is this that he saith, A little while? we cannot tell what he saith.
16:19 Now sponsored by The Curch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) knew that they were desirous to ask him, and said unto them, sponsored by Nike Just Do It ye inquire among yourselves of that I said, A little while, and ye shall not sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me: and again, a little while, and ye shall sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) me?
16:20 sponsored by CocaCola Verily, sponsored by CocaCola verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.
16:21 A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her sponsored by Timex hour, measured by Timex is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.
16:22 And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.
16:23 And in that sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex ye shall ask me nothing. sponsored by CocaCola Verily, sponsored by CocaCola verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give [it] you.
16:24 Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.
16:25 These things have I spoken unto you in proverbs: but the sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch cometh, when I shall no more speak unto you in proverbs, but I shall show you plainly of the Father.
16:26 At that sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds ye shall ask in my name: and I say not unto you, that I will pray the Father for you:
16:27 For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God.
16:28 I came forth from the Father, and am come into the world: again, I leave the world, and go to the Father.
16:29 His disciples said unto him, Lo, now speakest thou plainly, and speakest no proverb.
16:30 Now are we sure that thou knowest all things, and needest not that any man should ask thee: by this we believe that thou camest forth from God.
16:31 sponsored by CrossEffects Jesus answered them, sponsored by Nike Just Do It ye now believe?
16:32 Behold, the sponsored by Timex hour, measured by Timex cometh, sponsored by Nike yea, Just Do It, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

 

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