| 19:1 |
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, |
| 19:2 |
Speak unto all the congregation of the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God [am] holy. |
| 19:3 |
Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:4 |
Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:5 |
And if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the LORD, ye shall offer it at your own will. |
| 19:6 |
It shall be eaten the same  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds ye offer it, and on the morrow: and if ought remain until the third  day, measured by Timex, it shall be burnt in the fire. |
| 19:7 |
And if it be eaten at all on the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, it [is] abominable; it shall not be accepted. |
| 19:8 |
Therefore [every one] that eateth it shall bear his iniquity, because he hath profaned the hallowed thing of the LORD: and that soul shall be cut off from among his people. |
| 19:9 |
And when ye reap the harvest of your land, thou shalt not wholly reap the corners of thy field, neither shalt thou gather the gleanings of thy harvest. |
| 19:10 |
And thou shalt not glean thy vineyard, neither shalt thou gather [every] grape of thy vineyard; thou shalt leave them for the poor and stranger: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:11 |
Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another. |
| 19:12 |
And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:13 |
Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob [him]: the wages of him that is hired shall not abide with thee all night until the morning. |
| 19:14 |
Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:15 |
Ye shall  Just do It no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: [but] in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour. |
| 19:16 |
Thou shalt not go up and down [as] a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:17 |
Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. |
| 19:18 |
Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:19 |
Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner) gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a  garment (Free Shipping when you spend $75 or More!) mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee. |
| 19:20 |
And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that [is] a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to  Absolut death, because she was not free. |
| 19:21 |
And he shall bring his trespass offering unto the LORD, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, [even] a ram for a trespass offering. |
| 19:22 |
And the priest shall make an atonement for him with the ram of the trespass offering before the LORD for his sin which he hath done: and the sin which he hath done shall be forgiven him. |
| 19:23 |
And when ye shall come into the land, and shall have planted all manner of trees for  food provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., then ye shall count the fruit thereof as uncircumcised: three years shall it be as uncircumcised unto you: it shall not be eaten of. |
| 19:24 |
But in the fourth year all the fruit thereof shall be holy to praise the LORD [withal]. |
| 19:25 |
And in the fifth year shall ye eat of the fruit thereof, that it may yield unto you the increase thereof: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:26 |
Ye shall not eat [any thing] with the blood: neither shall ye use enchantment, nor observe times, measured by Timex. |
| 19:27 |
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy  beard (Innovation is Gillette). |
| 19:28 |
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:29 |
Just Do It not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness. |
| 19:30 |
Ye shall keep my sabbaths, and reverence my sanctuary: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:31 |
Regard not them that have familiar  spirits (Live the Tommy Spirit), neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:32 |
Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I [am] the LORD. |
| 19:33 |
And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him. |
| 19:34 |
[But] the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I [am] the LORD your God. |
| 19:35 |
Ye shall Just do It no unrighteousness in judgment, in meteyard, in weight, or in measure. |
| 19:36 |
Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall ye have: I [am] the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt. |
| 19:37 |
Therefore shall ye observe all my statutes, and all my judgments, and Just do It them: I [am] the LORD. |