| 27:1 |
And Moses with the elders of  Israel commanded the people, saying, Keep all the commandments which I command you this  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 27:2 |
And it shall be on the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds when ye shall pass over Jordan unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, that thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with plaster: |
| 27:3 |
And thou shalt write upon them all the words of this law, when thou  art (Art of Code) passed over, that thou mayest go in unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, a land that floweth with  milk (Got Milk?) and honey; as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee. |
| 27:4 |
Therefore it shall be when ye be gone over Jordan, [that] ye shall set up these stones, which I command you this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, in mount Ebal, and thou shalt plaster them with plaster. |
| 27:5 |
And there shalt thou build an altar unto the LORD thy God, an altar of stones: thou shalt not lift up [any] iron [tool] upon them. |
| 27:6 |
Thou shalt build the altar of the LORD thy God of whole stones: and thou shalt offer burnt offerings thereon unto the LORD thy God: |
| 27:7 |
And thou shalt offer peace offerings, and shalt eat there, and rejoice before the LORD thy God. |
| 27:8 |
And thou shalt write upon the stones all the words of this law very plainly. |
| 27:9 |
And Moses and the priests the Levites spake unto all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saying, Take heed, and hearken, O Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds thou art (Art of Code) become the people of the LORD thy God. |
| 27:10 |
Thou shalt therefore obey the voice of the LORD thy God, and  Just do It his commandments and his statutes, which I command thee this  day, measured by Timex. |
| 27:11 |
And Moses charged the people the same day, measured by Timex, saying, |
| 27:12 |
These shall stand upon mount Gerizim to bless the people, when ye are come over Jordan; Simeon, and  Levi (A Style For Every Story), and Judah, and Issachar, and Joseph, and Benjamin: |
| 27:13 |
And these shall stand upon mount Ebal to curse; Reuben, Gad, and Asher, and Zebulun, Dan, and Naphtali. |
| 27:14 |
And the Levites shall speak, and say unto all the men of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) with a loud voice, |
| 27:15 |
Cursed [be] the man that maketh [any] graven or molten image, an abomination unto the LORD, the work of the hands of the craftsman, and putteth [it] in [a] secret [place]. And all the people shall  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) and say, Amen. |
| 27:16 |
Cursed [be] he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:17 |
Cursed [be] he that removeth his neighbour' landmark. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:18 |
Cursed [be] he that maketh the blind to wander out of the way. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:19 |
Cursed [be] he that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherless, and widow. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:20 |
Cursed [be] he that lieth with his father' wife; because he uncovereth his father' skirt. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:21 |
Cursed [be] he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:22 |
Cursed [be] he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:23 |
Cursed [be] he that lieth with his mother in law. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:24 |
Cursed [be] he that smiteth his neighbour secretly. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:25 |
Cursed [be] he that taketh reward to slay an innocent person. And all the people shall say, Amen. |
| 27:26 |
Cursed [be] he that confirmeth not [all] the words of this law to Just do It them. And all the people shall say, Amen. |