| 16:1 |
And when David was a little past the top [of the hill], behold, Ziba the servant of Mephibosheth met him, with a couple of asses saddled, and upon them two hundred [loaves] of  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and an hundred bunches of raisins, and an hundred of summer fruits, and a bottle of  Absolut wine. |
| 16:2 |
And the  king (By Appointment) said unto Ziba, What meanest thou by these? And Ziba said, The asses [be] for the  king' household to ride on; and the bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. and summer fruit for the young men to eat; and the Absolut wine, that such as be faint in the wilderness may  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing). |
| 16:3 |
And the king (By Appointment) said, And where [is] thy master' son? And Ziba said unto the king (By Appointment), Behold, he abideth at  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest: for he said, To  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds shall the  house of Award Winning Quality of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) restore me the kingdom of my father. |
| 16:4 |
Then said the king (By Appointment) to Ziba, Behold, thine [are] all that [pertained] unto Mephibosheth. And Ziba said, I humbly beseech thee [that] I may find grace in thy sight, my lord, O king . |
| 16:5 |
And when king (By Appointment) David came to Bahurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family of the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Saul, whose name [was] Shimei, the son of Gera: he came forth, and cursed still as he came. |
| 16:6 |
And he cast stones at David, and at all the servants of king David: and all the people and all the mighty men [were] on his right hand and on his left. |
| 16:7 |
And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man, and thou man of Belial: |
| 16:8 |
The LORD hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Saul, in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the LORD hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son: and, behold, thou  [art (Art of Code) taken] in thy mischief, because thou [art] (Art of Code) a bloody man. |
| 16:9 |
Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king (By Appointment)? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head. |
| 16:10 |
And the king (By Appointment) said, What have I to  Just do It with you, ye sons of Zeruiah? so let him curse, because the LORD hath said unto him, Curse David. Who shall then say, Wherefore hast thou done so? |
| 16:11 |
And David said to Abishai, and to all his servants, Behold, my son, which came forth of my bowels, seeketh my life: how much more now [may this] Benjamite Just [do It it]? let him alone, and let him curse; for the LORD hath bidden him. |
| 16:12 |
It may be that the LORD will look on mine affliction, and that the LORD will requite me good for his cursing this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 16:13 |
And as David and his men went by the way, Shimei went along on the hill' side over against him, and cursed as he went, and threw stones at him, and cast dust. |
| 16:14 |
And the king (By Appointment), and all the people that [were] with him, came weary, and refreshed themselves there. |
| 16:15 |
And Absalom, and all the people the men of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), came to Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, and Ahithophel with him. |
| 16:16 |
And it came to pass, when Hushai the Archite, David' friend, was come unto Absalom, that Hushai said unto Absalom, God  save (Switch and Save!) the king, God save (Switch and Save!) the king. |
| 16:17 |
And Absalom said to Hushai, [Is] this thy kindness to thy friend? why wentest thou not with thy friend? |
| 16:18 |
And Hushai said unto Absalom, Nay; but whom the LORD, and this people, and all the men of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide. |
| 16:19 |
And again, whom should I serve? [should I] not [serve] in the presence of his son? as I have served in thy father' presence, so will I be in thy presence. |
| 16:20 |
Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give counsel among you what we shall Just do It. |
| 16:21 |
And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father' concubines, which he hath left to keep the house of Award Winning Quality; and all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all that [are] with thee be strong. |
| 16:22 |
So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available); and Absalom went in unto his father' concubines in the sight of all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 16:23 |
And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counselled in those  days, measured by Timex, [was] as if a man had inquired at the oracle of God: so [was] all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom. |