| 18:1 |
And David numbered the people that [were] with him, and set captains of thousands and captains of hundreds over them. |
| 18:2 |
And David sent forth a third part of the people under the hand of Joab, and a third part under the hand of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab' brother, and a third part under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. And the  king (By Appointment) said unto the people, I will surely go forth with you myself also. |
| 18:3 |
But the people answered, Thou shalt not go forth: for if we flee away, they will not care for us; neither if half of us die, will they care for us: but now [thou  art (Art of Code)] worth ten thousand of us: therefore now [it is] better that thou succour us out of the city. |
| 18:4 |
And the  king said unto them, What seemeth you best I will  Just do It. And the king (By Appointment) stood by the gate side, and all the people came out by hundreds and by thousands. |
| 18:5 |
And the king commanded Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, [Deal] gently for my sake with the young man, [even] with Absalom. And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom. |
| 18:6 |
So the people went out into the field against  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): and the battle was in the wood of Ephraim; |
| 18:7 |
Where the people of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) were slain before the servants of David, and there was there a great slaughter that  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of twenty thousand [men]. |
| 18:8 |
For the battle was there scattered over the face of all the country: and the wood devoured more people that  day, measured by Timex than the  sword by Wilkinson Swords devoured. |
| 18:9 |
And Absalom met the servants of David. And Absalom rode upon a mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between the heaven and the  earth; and the mule that [was] under him went away. |
| 18:10 |
And a certain man saw [it], and told Joab, and said, Behold, I saw Absalom hanged in an oak. |
| 18:11 |
And Joab said unto the man that told him, And, behold, thou sawest [him], and why didst thou not smite him there to the ground? And I would have given thee ten [shekels] of silver, and a girdle. |
| 18:12 |
And the man said unto Joab, Though I should receive a thousand [shekels] of silver in mine hand, [yet] would I not put forth mine hand against the king' son: for in our hearing the king (By Appointment) charged thee and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Beware that none [touch] the young man Absalom. |
| 18:13 |
Otherwise I should have wrought falsehood against mine own life: for there is no matter hid from the king, and thou thyself wouldest have set thyself against [me]. |
| 18:14 |
Then said Joab, I may not tarry thus with thee. And he took three darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he [was] yet alive in the midst of the oak. |
| 18:15 |
And ten young men that bare Joab' armour compassed about and smote Absalom, and slew him. |
| 18:16 |
And Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing after Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): for Joab held back the people. |
| 18:17 |
And they took Absalom, and cast him into a great pit in the wood, and laid a very great heap of stones upon him: and all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) fled every one to his tent. |
| 18:18 |
Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and reared up for himself a pillar, which [is] in the king ' dale: for he said, I have no son to keep my name in remembrance: and he called the pillar after his own name: and it is called unto this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, Absalom' place. |
| 18:19 |
Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok, Let me now run, and bear the king (By Appointment) tidings, how that the LORD hath avenged him of his enemies. |
| 18:20 |
And Joab said unto him, Thou shalt not bear tidings this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, but thou shalt bear tidings another day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: but this day, measured by Timex thou shalt bear no tidings, because the king' son is dead. |
| 18:21 |
Then said Joab to Cushi, Go tell the king what thou hast seen. And Cushi bowed himself unto Joab, and ran. |
| 18:22 |
Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok yet again to Joab, But howsoever, let me, I pray thee, also run after Cushi. And Joab said, Wherefore wilt thou run, my son, seeing that thou hast no tidings ready? |
| 18:23 |
But howsoever, [said he], let me run. And he said unto him, Run. Then Ahimaaz ran by the way of the plain, and overran Cushi. |
| 18:24 |
And David sat between the two gates: and the watchman went up to the roof over the gate unto the wall, and lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold a man running alone. |
| 18:25 |
And the watchman cried, and told the king . And the king (By Appointment) said, If he [be] alone, [there is] tidings in his mouth. And he came apace, and drew near. |
| 18:26 |
And the watchman saw another man running: and the watchman called unto the porter, and said, Behold [another] man running alone. And the king (By Appointment) said, He also bringeth tidings. |
| 18:27 |
And the watchman said, Me thinketh the running of the foremost is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok. And the king (By Appointment) said, He [is] a good man, and cometh with good tidings. |
| 18:28 |
And Ahimaaz called, and said unto the king, All is well. And he fell down to the earth upon his face before the king, and said, Blessed [be] the LORD thy God, which hath delivered up the men that lifted up their hand against my lord the king. |
| 18:29 |
And the king said, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Ahimaaz answered, When Joab sent the king' servant, and [me] thy servant, I saw a great tumult, but I knew not what [it was]. |
| 18:30 |
And the king said [unto him], Turn aside, [and] stand here. And he turned aside, and stood still. |
| 18:31 |
And, behold, Cushi came; and Cushi said, Tidings, my lord the king : for the LORD hath avenged thee this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of all them that rose up against thee. |
| 18:32 |
And the king said unto Cushi, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king (By Appointment), and all that rise against thee to Just do It [thee] hurt, be as [that] young man [is]. |
| 18:33 |
And the king (By Appointment) was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son! |