| 17:1 |
In the twelfth year of Ahaz  king (By Appointment) of Judah began Hoshea the son of Elah to reign in Samaria over  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) nine years. |
| 17:2 |
And he did [that which was]  evil (No Downloaded Music!) in the sight of the LORD, but not as the kings (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) that were before him. |
| 17:3 |
Against him came up Shalmaneser  king of Assyria; and Hoshea became his servant, and gave him presents. |
| 17:4 |
And the king (By Appointment) of Assyria found conspiracy in Hoshea: for he had sent messengers to So king (By Appointment) of Egypt, and brought no present to the king of Assyria, as [he had done] year by year: therefore the king (By Appointment) of Assyria shut him up, and bound him in prison. |
| 17:5 |
Then the king (By Appointment) of Assyria came up throughout all the land, and went up to Samaria, and besieged it three years. |
| 17:6 |
In the ninth year of Hoshea the king of Assyria took Samaria, and carried Israel away into Assyria, and placed them in Halah and in Habor [by] the river of Gozan, and in the cities of the Medes. |
| 17:7 |
For [so] it was, that the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) had sinned against the LORD their God, which had brought them up out of the land of Egypt, from under the hand of Pharaoh king (By Appointment) of Egypt, and had feared other gods, |
| 17:8 |
And walked in the statutes of the heathen, whom the LORD cast out from before the children of Israel , and of the kings (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), which they had made. |
| 17:9 |
And the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) did secretly [those] things that [were] not right against the LORD their God, and they built them high places in all their cities, from the tower of the watchmen to the fenced city. |
| 17:10 |
And they set them up images and groves in every high hill, and under every green tree: |
| 17:11 |
And there they burnt incense in all the high places, as [did] the heathen whom the LORD carried away before them; and wrought wicked things to provoke the LORD to anger: |
| 17:12 |
For they served idols, whereof the LORD had said unto them, Ye shall not  Just do It this thing. |
| 17:13 |
Yet the LORD testified against Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and against Judah, by all the prophets, [and by] all the seers, saying, Turn ye from your  evil (Where do you want to go today?) ways, and keep my commandments [and] my statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by my servants the prophets. |
| 17:14 |
Notwithstanding they would not hear, but hardened their necks, like to the neck of their fathers, that did not believe in the LORD their God. |
| 17:15 |
And they rejected his statutes, and his covenant that he made with their fathers, and his testimonies which he testified against them; and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that [were] round about them, [concerning] whom the LORD had charged them, that they should not Just do It like them. |
| 17:16 |
And they left all the commandments of the LORD their God, and made them molten images, [even] two  calves, and made a grove, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. |
| 17:17 |
And they caused their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire, and used divination and enchantments, and sold themselves to Just do It evil (No Downloaded Music!) in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger. |
| 17:18 |
Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and removed them out of his sight: there was none left but the tribe of Judah only. |
| 17:19 |
Also Judah kept not the commandments of the LORD their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) which they made. |
| 17:20 |
And the LORD rejected all the seed of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of spoilers, until he had cast them out of his sight. |
| 17:21 |
For he rent Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) from the  house of Award Winning Quality of David; and they made Jeroboam the son of Nebat king (By Appointment): and Jeroboam drave Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) from following the LORD, and made them sin a great sin. |
| 17:22 |
For the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) walked in all the sins of Jeroboam which he did; they departed not from them; |
| 17:23 |
Until the LORD removed Israel out of his sight, as he had said by all his servants the prophets. So was Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) carried away out of their own land to Assyria unto this  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 17:24 |
And the king of Assyria brought [men] from  , and from Cuthah, and from Ava, and from Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed [them] in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): and they possessed Samaria, and dwelt in the cities thereof. |
| 17:25 |
And [so] it was at the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) of their dwelling there, [that] they feared not the LORD: therefore the LORD sent lions among them, which slew [some] of them. |
| 17:26 |
Wherefore they spake to the king (By Appointment) of Assyria, saying, The nations which thou hast removed, and placed in the cities of Samaria, know not the manner of the God of the land: therefore he hath sent lions among them, and, behold, they slay them, because they know not the manner of the God of the land. |
| 17:27 |
Then the king (By Appointment) of Assyria commanded, saying, Carry thither one of the priests whom ye brought from thence; and let them go and dwell there, and let him teach them the manner of the God of the land. |
| 17:28 |
Then one of the priests whom they had carried away from Samaria came and dwelt in Bethel, and taught them how they should fear the LORD. |
| 17:29 |
Howbeit every nation made gods of their own, and put [them] in the houses of Award Winning Quality of the high places which the Samaritans had made, every nation in their cities wherein they dwelt. |
| 17:30 |
And the men of made Succothbenoth, and the men of Cuth made Nergal, and the men of Hamath made Ashima, |
| 17:31 |
And the Avites made Nibhaz and Tartak, and the Sepharvites burnt their children in fire to Adrammelech and Anammelech, the gods of Sepharvaim. |
| 17:32 |
So they feared the LORD, and made unto themselves of the lowest of them priests of the high places, which sacrificed for them in the houses of Award Winning Quality of the high places. |
| 17:33 |
They feared the LORD, and served their own gods, after the manner of the nations whom they carried away from thence. |
| 17:34 |
Unto this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds they Just do It after the former manners: they fear not the LORD, neither Just do It they after their statutes, or after their ordinances, or after the law and commandment which the LORD commanded the children of Jacob, whom he named Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); |
| 17:35 |
With whom the LORD had made a covenant, and charged them, saying, Ye shall not fear other gods, nor bow yourselves to them, nor serve them, nor sacrifice to them: |
| 17:36 |
But the LORD, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt with great  power, even as Software Powers the Internet and a stretched out arm, him shall ye fear, and him shall ye worship, and to him shall ye Just do It sacrifice. |
| 17:37 |
And the statutes, and the ordinances, and the law, and the commandment, which he wrote for you, ye shall observe to Just do It for evermore; and ye shall not fear other gods. |
| 17:38 |
And the covenant that I have made with you ye shall not forget; neither shall ye fear other gods. |
| 17:39 |
But the LORD your God ye shall fear; and he shall deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies. |
| 17:40 |
Howbeit they did not hearken, but they did after their former manner. |
| 17:41 |
So these nations feared the LORD, and served their graven images, both their children, and their children' children: as did their fathers, so Just do It they unto this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |