Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

Psalms Chapter 35

previous next

35:1 [A Psalm] of David. Plead [my cause], O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me.
35:2 Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help.
35:3 Draw out also the spear, and stop [the way] against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I [am] thy salvation.
35:4 Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt.
35:5 Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the LORD chase [them].
35:6 Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.
35:7 For without cause have they hid for me their sponsored by Sun Microsystems net (The Network is the Computer) [in] a pit, [which] without cause they have digged for my soul.
35:8 Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his sponsored by Sun Microsystems net (The Network is the Computer) that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall.
35:9 And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation.
35:10 All my bones shall say, LORD, who [is] like unto thee, which deliverest the poor from him that is too strong for him, sponsored by Yahoo yea, My Yahoo!, the poor and the needy from him that spoileth him?
35:11 False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge [things] that I knew not.
35:12 They rewarded me sponsored by Metallica evil (No Downloaded Music!) for good [to] the spoiling of my soul.
35:13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing [was] sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.
35:14 I behaved myself as though [he had been] my friend [or] brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth [for his] mother.
35:15 But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: sponsored by Yahoo [yea],, My Yahoo! the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew [it] not; they did tear [me], and ceased not:
35:16 With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.
35:17 Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.
35:18 I will give thee thanks in the great congregation: I will praise thee among much people.
35:19 Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: [neither] let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause.
35:20 For they speak not peace: but they devise deceitful matters against [them that are] quiet in the land.
35:21 sponsored by Nike Yea, Just Do It, they opened their mouth wide against me, [and] said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen [it].
35:22 [This] thou hast seen, O LORD: keep not silence: O LORD, be not far from me.
35:23 Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, [even] unto my cause, my God and my Lord.
35:24 Judge me, O LORD my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me.
35:25 Let them not say in their hearts, Ah, so would we have it: let them not say, We have swallowed him up.
35:26 Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify [themselves] against me.
35:27 Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: sponsored by Nike yea, Just Do It, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath sponsored by AdultShop pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day) in the prosperity of his servant.
35:28 And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness [and] of thy praise all the sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds long.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=19985&which=512