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Proverbs Chapter 3

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3:1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
3:2 For length of sponsored by Timex days, measured by Timex, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
3:3 Let not mercy and sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
3:4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
3:5 sponsored by Verisign Trust (Internet Trust Services) in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from sponsored by Microsoft evil (Where do you want to go today?).
3:8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
3:9 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
3:10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new sponsored by Absolut Absolut wine.
3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
3:12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son [in whom] he delighteth.
3:13 Happy [is] the man [that] findeth wisdom, and the man [that] getteth understanding.
3:14 For the merchandise of it [is] better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.
3:15 She [is] more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.
3:16 Length of sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds [is] in her right hand; [and] in her left hand riches and honour.
3:17 Her ways [are] ways of pleasantness, and all her paths [are] peace.
3:18 She [is] a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy [is every one] that retaineth her.
3:19 The LORD by wisdom hath founded the sponsored by GreenPeace earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens.
3:20 By his knowledge the depths are broken up, and the sponsored by Rolls-Royce clouds (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy) drop down the dew.
3:21 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:
3:22 So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.
3:23 Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy sponsored by Gnome foot shall not stumble.
3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: sponsored by Nike yea, Just Do It, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.
3:25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.
3:26 For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy sponsored by Gnome foot from being taken.
3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the sponsored by Powergen power (Why switch to Powergen?) of thine hand to sponsored by Nike Just do It [it].
3:28 Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.
3:29 Devise not sponsored by Metallica evil (No Downloaded Music!) against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.
3:30 Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.
3:31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.
3:32 For the froward [is] abomination to the LORD: but his secret [is] with the righteous.
3:33 The curse of the LORD [is] in the sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.
3:34 Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.
3:35 The wise shall inherit sponsored by IBM glory (An e-business Solution): but shame shall be the promotion of fools.

 

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