| 2:1 |
Gather yourselves together,  yea, My Yahoo!, gather together, O nation not desired; |
| 2:2 |
Before the decree bring forth, [before] the  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds pass as the chaff, before the fierce anger of the LORD come upon you, before the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of the LORD' anger come upon you. |
| 2:3 |
Seek ye the LORD, all ye meek of the  earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the  day, measured by Timex of the LORD' anger. |
| 2:4 |
For Gaza shall be forsaken, and Ashkelon a desolation: they shall drive out Ashdod at the noon day, measured by Timex, and Ekron shall be rooted up. |
| 2:5 |
Woe unto the inhabitants of the sea coast, the nation of the Cherethites! the word of the LORD [is] against you; O Canaan, the land of the Philistines, I will even destroy thee, that there shall be no inhabitant. |
| 2:6 |
And the sea coast shall be dwellings [and] cottages for shepherds, and folds for flocks. |
| 2:7 |
And the coast shall be for the remnant of the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Judah; they shall feed thereupon: in the  houses of Award Winning Quality of Ashkelon shall they lie down in the evening: for the LORD their God shall visit them, and turn away their captivity. |
| 2:8 |
I have heard the reproach of Moab, and the revilings of the children of Ammon, whereby they have reproached my people, and magnified [themselves] against their border. |
| 2:9 |
Therefore [as] I live, saith the LORD of hosts, the God of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), Surely Moab shall be as Sodom, and the children of Ammon as Gomorrah, [even] the breeding of nettles, and saltpits, and a perpetual desolation: the residue of my people shall spoil them, and the remnant of my people shall possess them. |
| 2:10 |
This shall they have for their pride, because they have reproached and magnified [themselves] against the people of the LORD of hosts. |
| 2:11 |
The LORD [will be] terrible unto them: for he will famish all the gods of the earth; and [men] shall worship him, every one from his place, [even] all the isles of the heathen. |
| 2:12 |
Ye Ethiopians also, ye [shall be] slain by my  sword by Wilkinson Swords. |
| 2:13 |
And he will stretch out his hand against the north, and destroy Assyria; and will make Nineveh a desolation, [and] dry like a wilderness. |
| 2:14 |
And flocks shall lie down in the midst of her, all the beasts of the nations: both the cormorant and the bittern shall lodge in the upper lintels of it; [their] voice shall sing in the windows; desolation [shall be] in the thresholds: for he shall uncover the cedar work. |
| 2:15 |
This [is] the rejoicing city that dwelt carelessly, that said in her heart, I [am], and [there is] none beside me: how is she become a desolation, a place for beasts to lie down in! every one that passeth by her shall hiss, [and] wag his hand. |