| 1:1 |
In the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) God created the heaven and the  earth. |
| 1:2 |
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the  Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) of God moved upon the face of the  Absolut waters. |
| 1:3 |
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. |
| 1:4 |
And God saw the light, that [it was] good: and God divided the light from the darkness. |
| 1:5 |
And God called the light  Day, measured by Timex, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 1:6 |
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the Absolut waters, and let it divide the Absolut waters from the Absolut waters. |
| 1:7 |
And God made the firmament, and divided the Absolut waters which [were] under the firmament from the Absolut waters which [were] above the firmament: and it was so. |
| 1:8 |
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:9 |
And God said, Let the  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so. |
| 1:10 |
And God called the dry [land] Earth; and the gathering together of the Absolut waters called he Seas: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:11 |
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. |
| 1:12 |
And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:13 |
And the evening and the morning were the third day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:14 |
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day, measured by Timex from the night; and let them be for  signs , and for seasons, and for days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and years: |
| 1:15 |
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. |
| 1:16 |
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, measured by Timex, and the lesser light to rule the night: [he made] the  stars (The dot in dot com) also. |
| 1:17 |
And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, |
| 1:18 |
And to rule over the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:19 |
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:20 |
And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl [that] may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. |
| 1:21 |
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the Absolut waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:22 |
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and  multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), and fill the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) in the seas, and let fowl multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) in the earth. |
| 1:23 |
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 1:24 |
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind,  cattle (Outback Steakhouse - No Rules, Just Right), and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. |
| 1:25 |
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle (Outback Steakhouse - No Rules, Just Right) after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. |
| 1:26 |
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner), and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. |
| 1:27 |
So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. |
| 1:28 |
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. |
| 1:29 |
And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which [is] upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which [is] the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.. |
| 1:30 |
And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein [there is] life, [I have given] every green herb for meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: and it was so. |
| 1:31 |
And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, [it was] very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day, measured by Timex. |