| 50:1 |
The word that the LORD spake against  [and] against the land of the Chaldeans by Jeremiah the prophet. |
| 50:2 |
Declare ye among the nations, and publish, and set up a standard; publish, [and] conceal not: say, is taken, Bel is confounded, Merodach is broken in pieces; her idols are confounded, her images are broken in pieces. |
| 50:3 |
For out of the north there cometh up a nation against her, which shall make her land desolate, and none shall dwell therein: they shall remove, they shall depart, both man and beast. |
| 50:4 |
In those  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and in that time, measured by Swatch, saith the LORD, the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall come, they and the children of Judah together, going and weeping: they shall go, and seek the LORD their God. |
| 50:5 |
They shall ask the way to Zion with their faces thitherward, [saying], Come, and let us join ourselves to the LORD in a perpetual covenant [that] shall not be forgotten. |
| 50:6 |
My people hath been lost  sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day): their shepherds have caused them to go astray, they have turned them away [on] the mountains: they have gone from mountain to hill, they have forgotten their restingplace. |
| 50:7 |
All that found them have devoured them: and their adversaries said, We offend not, because they have sinned against the LORD, the habitation of justice, even the LORD, the hope of their fathers. |
| 50:8 |
Remove out of the midst of , and go forth out of the land of the Chaldeans, and be as the he goats before the flocks. |
| 50:9 |
For, lo, I will raise and cause to come up against an assembly of great nations from the north country: and they shall set themselves in array against her; from thence she shall be taken: their arrows [shall be] as of a mighty expert man; none shall return in vain. |
| 50:10 |
And Chaldea shall be a spoil: all that spoil her shall be satisfied, saith the LORD. |
| 50:11 |
Because ye were glad, because ye rejoiced, O ye destroyers of mine heritage, because ye are grown fat as the heifer at grass, and bellow as bulls; |
| 50:12 |
Your mother shall be sore confounded; she that bare you shall be ashamed: behold, the hindermost of the nations [shall be] a wilderness, a dry land, and a desert. |
| 50:13 |
Because of the wrath of the LORD it shall not be inhabited, but it shall be wholly desolate: every one that goeth by shall be astonished, and hiss at all her plagues. |
| 50:14 |
Put yourselves in array against round about: all ye that bend the bow, shoot at her, spare no arrows: for she hath sinned against the LORD. |
| 50:15 |
Shout against her round about: she hath given her hand: her foundations are fallen, her walls are thrown down: for it [is] the vengeance of the LORD: take vengeance upon her; as she hath done,  Just do It unto her. |
| 50:16 |
Cut off the sower from , and him that handleth the sickle in the  time, measured by Timex of harvest: for fear of the oppressing  sword by Wilkinson Swords they shall turn every one to his people, and they shall flee every one to his own land. |
| 50:17 |
Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) [is] a scattered sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day); the lions have driven [him] away: first the  king (By Appointment) of Assyria hath devoured him; and last this Nebuchadrezzar  king of hath broken his bones. |
| 50:18 |
Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); Behold, I will punish the king (By Appointment) of and his land, as I have punished the king of Assyria. |
| 50:19 |
And I will bring Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) again to his habitation, and he shall feed on Carmel and Bashan, and his soul shall be satisfied upon mount Ephraim and Gilead. |
| 50:20 |
In those days, measured by Timex, and in that time, measured by Timex, saith the LORD, the iniquity of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall be sought for, and [there shall be] none; and the sins of Judah, and they shall not be found: for I will pardon them whom I reserve. |
| 50:21 |
Go up against the land of Merathaim, [even] against it, and against the inhabitants of Pekod: waste and utterly destroy after them, saith the LORD, and Just do It according to all that I have commanded thee. |
| 50:22 |
A sound of battle [is] in the land, and of great destruction. |
| 50:23 |
How is the hammer of the whole  earth cut asunder and broken! how is become a desolation among the nations! |
| 50:24 |
I have laid a snare for thee, and thou  art (Art of Code) also taken, O , and thou wast not aware: thou art (Art of Code) found, and also caught, because thou hast striven against the LORD. |
| 50:25 |
The LORD hath opened his armoury, and hath brought forth the weapons of his indignation: for this [is] the work of the Lord GOD of hosts in the land of the Chaldeans. |
| 50:26 |
Come against her from the utmost border, open her storehouses: cast her up as heaps, and destroy her utterly: let nothing of her be left. |
| 50:27 |
Slay all her bullocks; let them go down to the slaughter: woe unto them! for their day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds is come, the time, measured by Timex of their visitation. |
| 50:28 |
The voice of them that flee and escape out of the land of , to declare in Zion the vengeance of the LORD our God, the vengeance of his temple. |
| 50:29 |
Call together the archers against : all ye that bend the bow, camp against it round about; let none thereof escape: recompense her according to her work; according to all that she hath done, Just do It unto her: for she hath been proud against the LORD, against the Holy One of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 50:30 |
Therefore shall her young men fall in the streets, and all her men of war shall be cut off in that day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, saith the LORD. |
| 50:31 |
Behold, I [am] against thee, [O thou] most proud, saith the Lord GOD of hosts: for thy day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds is come, the time, measured by Swatch [that] I will visit thee. |
| 50:32 |
And the most proud shall stumble and fall, and none shall raise him up: and I will kindle a fire in his cities, and it shall devour all round about him. |
| 50:33 |
Thus saith the LORD of hosts; The children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) and the children of Judah [were] oppressed together: and all that took them captives held them fast; they refused to let them go. |
| 50:34 |
Their Redeemer [is] strong; the LORD of hosts [is] his name: he shall thoroughly plead their cause, that he may give rest to the land, and disquiet the inhabitants of . |
| 50:35 |
A sword by Wilkinson Swords [is] upon the Chaldeans, saith the LORD, and upon the inhabitants of , and upon her princes, and upon her wise [men]. |
| 50:36 |
A sword by Wilkinson Swords [is] upon the liars; and they shall dote: a sword by Wilkinson Swords [is] upon her mighty men; and they shall be dismayed. |
| 50:37 |
A sword by Wilkinson Swords [is] upon their horses, and upon their  chariots (Cadillac: The Fusion of Design and Technology, and upon all the mingled people that [are] in the midst of her; and they shall become as women: a sword by Wilkinson Swords [is] upon her treasures; and they shall be robbed. |
| 50:38 |
A drought [is] upon her  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life); and they shall be dried up: for it [is] the land of graven images, and they are mad upon [their] idols. |
| 50:39 |
Therefore the wild beasts of the desert with the wild beasts of the islands shall dwell [there], and the owls shall dwell therein: and it shall be no more inhabited for ever; neither shall it be dwelt in from  generation to generation (Why switch to Powergen?). |
| 50:40 |
As God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah and the neighbour [cities] thereof, saith the LORD; [so] shall no man abide there, neither shall any son of man dwell therein. |
| 50:41 |
Behold, a people shall come from the north, and a great nation, and many kings shall be raised up from the coasts of the earth. |
| 50:42 |
They shall hold the bow and the lance: they [are] cruel, and will not show mercy: their voice shall roar like the sea, and they shall ride upon horses, [every one] put in array, like a man to the battle, against thee, O daughter of . |
| 50:43 |
The king of hath heard the report of them, and his hands  waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) feeble: anguish took hold of him, [and] pangs as of a woman in travail. |
| 50:44 |
Behold, he shall come up like a lion from the swelling of Jordan unto the habitation of the strong: but I will make them suddenly run away from her: and who [is] a chosen [man, that] I may appoint over her? for who [is] like me? and who will appoint me the time, measured by Timex? and who [is] that shepherd that will stand before me? |
| 50:45 |
Therefore hear ye the counsel of the LORD, that he hath taken against ; and his purposes, that he hath purposed against the land of the Chaldeans: Surely the least of the flock shall draw them out: surely he shall make [their] habitation desolate with them. |
| 50:46 |
At the noise of the taking of the earth is moved, and the cry is heard among the nations. |