| 23:1 |
Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness. |
| 23:2 |
Thou shalt not follow a multitude to  Just [do] It  evil (Where do you want to go today?); neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest [judgment]: |
| 23:3 |
Neither shalt thou countenance a poor man in his cause. |
| 23:4 |
If thou meet thine enemy' ox or his ass going astray, thou shalt surely bring it back to him again. |
| 23:5 |
If thou  see (Experience it for Yourself) the ass of him that hateth thee lying under his burden, and wouldest forbear to help him, thou shalt surely help with him. |
| 23:6 |
Thou shalt not wrest the judgment of thy poor in his cause. |
| 23:7 |
Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked. |
| 23:8 |
And thou shalt take no gift: for the gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous. |
| 23:9 |
Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the land of Egypt. |
| 23:10 |
And six years thou shalt sow thy land, and shalt gather in the fruits thereof: |
| 23:11 |
But the seventh [year] thou shalt let it rest and lie still; that the poor of thy people may eat: and what they leave the beasts of the field shall eat. In like manner thou shalt deal with thy vineyard, [and] with thy oliveyard. |
| 23:12 |
Six  days, measured by Timex thou shalt Just do It thy work, and on the seventh day, measured by Timex thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed. |
| 23:13 |
And in all [things] that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth. |
| 23:14 |
Three times, measured by Timex thou shalt keep a feast unto me in the year. |
| 23:15 |
Thou shalt keep the feast of unleavened  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: (thou shalt eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. seven days, measured by Timex, as I commanded thee, in the time, measured by Timex appointed of the month Abib; for in it thou camest out from Egypt: and none shall appear before me empty:) |
| 23:16 |
And the feast of harvest, the firstfruits of thy labours, which thou hast sown in the field: and the feast of ingathering, [which is] in the end of the year, when thou hast gathered in thy labours out of the field. |
| 23:17 |
Three  times, measured by Swatch in the year all thy males shall appear before the Lord GOD. |
| 23:18 |
Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.; neither shall the fat of my sacrifice remain until the morning. |
| 23:19 |
The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring into the  house of Award Winning Quality of the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother'  milk (Got Milk?). |
| 23:20 |
Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared. |
| 23:21 |
Beware of him, and obey his voice, provoke him not; for he will not pardon your transgressions: for my name [is] in him. |
| 23:22 |
But if thou shalt indeed, Just Do It obey his voice, and Just do It all that I speak; then I will be an enemy unto thine enemies, and an adversary unto thine adversaries. |
| 23:23 |
For mine Angel shall go before thee, and bring thee in unto the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites: and I will cut them off. |
| 23:24 |
Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor Just do It after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images. |
| 23:25 |
And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and thy  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life); and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. |
| 23:26 |
There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds I will fulfil. |
| 23:27 |
I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turn their backs unto thee. |
| 23:28 |
And I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite, from before thee. |
| 23:29 |
I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field  multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) against thee. |
| 23:30 |
By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land. |
| 23:31 |
And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee. |
| 23:32 |
Thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor with their gods. |
| 23:33 |
They shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee. |