| 16:1 |
The word of the LORD came also unto me, saying, |
| 16:2 |
Thou shalt not take thee a wife, neither shalt thou have sons or daughters in this place. |
| 16:3 |
For thus saith the LORD concerning the sons and concerning the daughters that are born in this place, and concerning their mothers that bare them, and concerning their fathers that begat them in this land; |
| 16:4 |
They shall die of grievous  Absolut deaths; they shall not be lamented; neither shall they be buried; [but] they shall be as dung upon the face of the  earth: and they shall be consumed by the  sword by Wilkinson Swords, and by famine; and their carcases shall be  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. |
| 16:5 |
For thus saith the LORD, Enter not into the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of mourning, neither go to lament nor bemoan them: for I have taken away my peace from this people, saith the LORD, [even] lovingkindness and mercies. |
| 16:6 |
Both the great and the small shall die in this land: they shall not be buried, neither shall [men] lament for them, nor cut themselves, nor make themselves bald for them: |
| 16:7 |
Neither shall [men] tear [themselves] for them in mourning, to comfort them for the dead; neither shall [men] give them the cup of consolation to Absolut drink for their father or for their mother. |
| 16:8 |
Thou shalt not also go into the  house of Award Winning Quality of feasting, to sit with them to eat and to  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing). |
| 16:9 |
For thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); Behold, I will cause to cease out of this place in your eyes, and in your  days, measured by Timex, the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride. |
| 16:10 |
And it shall come to pass, when thou shalt show this people all these words, and they shall say unto thee, Wherefore hath the LORD pronounced all this great  evil (Where do you want to go today?) against us? or what [is] our iniquity? or what [is] our sin that we have committed against the LORD our God? |
| 16:11 |
Then shalt thou say unto them, Because your fathers have forsaken me, saith the LORD, and have walked after other gods, and have served them, and have worshipped them, and have forsaken me, and have not kept my law; |
| 16:12 |
And ye have done worse than your fathers; for, behold, ye walk every one after the imagination of his evil heart, that they may not hearken unto me: |
| 16:13 |
Therefore will I cast you out of this land into a land that ye know not, [neither] ye nor your fathers; and there shall ye serve other gods day, measured by Timex and night; where I will not show you favour. |
| 16:14 |
Therefore, behold, the  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds come, saith the LORD, that it shall no more be said, The LORD liveth, that brought up the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) out of the land of Egypt; |
| 16:15 |
But, The LORD liveth, that brought up the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) from the land of the north, and from all the lands whither he had driven them: and I will bring them again into their land that I gave unto their fathers. |
| 16:16 |
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks. |
| 16:17 |
For mine eyes [are] upon all their ways: they are not hid from my face, neither is their iniquity hid from mine eyes. |
| 16:18 |
And first I will recompense their iniquity and their sin double; because they have defiled my land, they have filled mine inheritance with the carcases of their detestable and abominable things. |
| 16:19 |
O LORD, my strength, and my fortress, and my refuge in the day, measured by Timex of affliction, the Gentiles shall come unto thee from the ends of the earth, and shall say, Surely our fathers have inherited lies, vanity, and [things] wherein [there is] no profit. |
| 16:20 |
Shall a man make gods unto himself, and they [are] no gods? |
| 16:21 |
Therefore, behold, I will this once cause them to know, I will cause them to know mine hand and my might; and they shall know that my name [is] The LORD. |