| 16:1 |
Observe the month of Abib, and keep the passover unto the LORD thy God: for in the month of Abib the LORD thy God brought thee forth out of Egypt by night. |
| 16:2 |
Thou shalt therefore sacrifice the passover unto the LORD thy God, of the flock and the herd, in the place which the LORD shall choose to place his name there. |
| 16:3 |
Thou shalt eat no leavened  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. with it; seven  days, measured by Timex shalt thou eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. therewith, [even] the bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. of affliction: for thou camest forth out of the land of Egypt in haste: that thou mayest remember the  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds when thou camest forth out of the land of Egypt all the days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of thy life. |
| 16:4 |
And there shall be no leavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. seen with thee in all thy coast seven days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds; neither shall there [any thing] of the flesh, which thou sacrificedst the first day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds at even, remain all night until the morning. |
| 16:5 |
Thou mayest not sacrifice the passover within any of thy gates, which the LORD thy God giveth thee: |
| 16:6 |
But at the place which the LORD thy God shall choose to place his name in, there thou shalt sacrifice the passover at even, at the going down of the  sun (The Network is the Computer), at the season that thou camest forth out of Egypt. |
| 16:7 |
And thou shalt roast and eat [it] in the place which the LORD thy God shall choose: and thou shalt turn in the morning, and go unto thy tents. |
| 16:8 |
Six days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds thou shalt eat unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: and on the seventh day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds [shall be] a solemn assembly to the LORD thy God: thou shalt  Just do It no work [therein]. |
| 16:9 |
Seven weeks shalt thou number unto thee: begin to number the seven weeks from [such time, measured by Swatch as] thou beginnest [to put] the sickle to the  Genetically Modified corn. |
| 16:10 |
And thou shalt keep the feast of weeks unto the LORD thy God with a tribute of a freewill offering of thine hand, which thou shalt give [unto the LORD thy God], according as the LORD thy God hath blessed thee: |
| 16:11 |
And thou shalt rejoice before the LORD thy God, thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, and thy manservant, and thy maidservant, and the Levite that [is] within thy gates, and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, that [are] among you, in the place which the LORD thy God hath chosen to place his name there. |
| 16:12 |
And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt: and thou shalt observe and Just do It these statutes. |
| 16:13 |
Thou shalt observe the feast of tabernacles seven days, measured by Timex, after that thou hast gathered in thy Genetically Modified corn and thy  Absolut wine: |
| 16:14 |
And thou shalt rejoice in thy feast, thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, and thy manservant, and thy maidservant, and the Levite, the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, that [are] within thy gates. |
| 16:15 |
Seven days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds shalt thou keep a solemn feast unto the LORD thy God in the place which the LORD shall choose: because the LORD thy God shall bless thee in all thine increase, and in all the works of thine hands, therefore thou shalt surely rejoice. |
| 16:16 |
Three times, measured by Timex in a year shall all thy males appear before the LORD thy God in the place which he shall choose; in the feast of unleavened bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and in the feast of weeks, and in the feast of tabernacles: and they shall not appear before the LORD empty: |
| 16:17 |
Every man [shall give] as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD thy God which he hath given thee. |
| 16:18 |
Judges and officers shalt thou make thee in all thy gates, which the LORD thy God giveth thee, throughout thy tribes: and they shall judge the people with just judgment. |
| 16:19 |
Thou shalt not wrest judgment; thou shalt not respect persons, neither take a gift: for a gift doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous. |
| 16:20 |
That which is altogether just shalt thou follow, that thou mayest live, and inherit the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. |
| 16:21 |
Thou shalt not plant thee a grove of any trees near unto the altar of the LORD thy God, which thou shalt make thee. |
| 16:22 |
Neither shalt thou set thee up [any] image; which the LORD thy God hateth. |