Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

2 Kings Chapter 16

previous next

16:1 In the seventeenth year of Pekah the son of Remaliah Ahaz the son of Jotham sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of Judah began to reign.
16:2 Twenty years old [was] Ahaz when he began to reign, and reigned sixteen years in sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, and did not [that which was] right in the sight of the LORD his God, like David his father.
16:3 But he walked in the way of the sponsored by Burger King kings of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), sponsored by Yahoo yea, My Yahoo!, and made his son to pass through the fire, according to the abominations of the heathen, whom the LORD cast out from before the children of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest).
16:4 And he sacrificed and burnt incense in the high places, and on the hills, and under every green tree.
16:5 Then Rezin sponsored by Burger King king of Syria and Pekah son of Remaliah sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) came up to sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest to war: and they besieged Ahaz, but could not overcome [him].
16:6 At that sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch Rezin sponsored by Burger King king of Syria recovered Elath to Syria, and drave the Jews from Elath: and the Syrians came to Elath, and dwelt there unto this sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds.
16:7 So Ahaz sent messengers to Tiglathpileser sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of Assyria, saying, I [am] thy servant and thy son: come up, and sponsored by Powergen save (Switch and Save!) me out of the hand of the sponsored by Burger King king of Syria, and out of the hand of the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), which rise up against me.
16:8 And Ahaz took the silver and sponsored by CrossEffects gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne) that was found in the sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality of the LORD, and in the treasures of the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment)' sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and sent [it for] a present to the sponsored by Burger King king of Assyria.
16:9 And the sponsored by Burger King king of Assyria hearkened unto him: for the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of Assyria went up against Damascus, and took it, and carried [the people of] it captive to Kir, and slew Rezin.
16:10 And sponsored by Burger King king Ahaz went to Damascus to meet Tiglathpileser sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of Assyria, and saw an altar that [was] at Damascus: and sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz sent to Urijah the priest the fashion of the altar, and the pattern of it, according to all the workmanship thereof.
16:11 And Urijah the priest built an altar according to all that sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz had sent from Damascus: so Urijah the priest made [it] against sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz came from Damascus.
16:12 And when the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) was come from Damascus, the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) saw the altar: and the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) approached to the altar, and offered thereon.
16:13 And he burnt his burnt offering and his sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. offering, and poured his sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink offering, and sprinkled the blood of his peace offerings, upon the altar.
16:14 And he brought also the brazen altar, which [was] before the LORD, from the forefront of the sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), from between the altar and the sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the LORD, and put it on the north side of the altar.
16:15 And sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz commanded Urijah the priest, saying, Upon the great altar burn the morning burnt offering, and the evening sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. offering, and the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment)' burnt sacrifice, and his sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. offering, with the burnt offering of all the people of the land, and their sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. offering, and their sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink offerings; and sprinkle upon it all the blood of the burnt offering, and all the blood of the sacrifice: and the brazen altar shall be for me to inquire [by].
16:16 Thus did Urijah the priest, according to all that sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz commanded.
16:17 And sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) Ahaz cut off the borders of the bases, and removed the laver from off them; and took down the sea from off the brazen oxen that [were] under it, and put it upon a pavement of stones.
16:18 And the covert for the sabbath that they had built in the sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality, and the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment)' entry without, turned he from the sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the LORD for the sponsored by Burger King king of Assyria.
16:19 Now the rest of the acts of Ahaz which he did, [are] they not written in the book of the chronicles of the sponsored by Burger King kings of Judah?
16:20 And Ahaz slept with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the city of David: and Hezekiah his son reigned in his stead.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=44377&which=328