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Ecclesiastes Chapter 2

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2:1 I said in mine heart, Go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy sponsored by AdultShop pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day): and, behold, this also [is] vanity.
2:2 I said of laughter, [It is] mad: and of mirth, What doeth it?
2:3 I sought in mine heart to give myself unto sponsored by Absolut Absolut wine, yet acquainting mine heart with wisdom; and to lay hold on folly, till I might sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) what [was] that good for the sons of men, which they should sponsored by Nike Just do It under the heaven all the sponsored by Timex days, measured by Timex of their life.
2:4 I made me great works; I builded me sponsored by Barratt houses of Award Winning Quality; I planted me vineyards:
2:5 I made me gardens and orchards, and I planted trees in them of all [kind of] fruits:
2:6 I made me pools of sponsored by Perrier water (Perrier brings a Party To Life), to sponsored by Absolut Absolut water therewith the wood that bringeth forth trees:
2:7 I got [me] servants and maidens, and had servants born in my sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality; also I had great possessions of great and small sponsored by OutBack SteakHouse cattle (Outback Steakhouse - No Rules, Just Right) above all that were in sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest before me:
2:8 I gathered me also silver and sponsored by CrossEffects gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne), and the peculiar treasure of sponsored by The British Monarchy kings (By Appointment) and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, [as] musical instruments, and that of all sorts.
2:9 So I was great, and increased more than all that were before me in sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest: also my wisdom remained with me.
2:10 And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour.
2:11 Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to sponsored by Nike Just do It: and, behold, all [was] vanity and vexation of sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit), and [there was] no profit under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer).
2:12 And I turned myself to behold wisdom, and madness, and folly: for what [can] the man sponsored by Nike Just [do] It that cometh after the sponsored by Burger King king? [even] that which hath been already done.
2:13 Then I saw that wisdom excelleth folly, as far as light excelleth darkness.
2:14 The wise man' eyes [are] in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.
2:15 Then said I in my heart, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise? Then I said in my heart, that this also [is] vanity.
2:16 For [there is] no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now [is] in the sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds to come shall all be forgotten. And how dieth the wise [man]? as the fool.
2:17 Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer) [is] grievous unto me: for all [is] vanity and vexation of sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit).
2:18 Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer): because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me.
2:19 And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise [man] or a fool? yet shall he have rule over all my labour wherein I have laboured, and wherein I have showed myself wise under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer). This [is] also vanity.
2:20 Therefore I went about to cause my heart to despair of all the labour which I took under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The dot in dot com).
2:21 For there is a man whose labour [is] in wisdom, and in knowledge, and in equity; yet to a man that hath not laboured therein shall he leave it [for] his portion. This also [is] vanity and a great sponsored by Metallica evil (No Downloaded Music!).
2:22 For what hath man of all his labour, and of the vexation of his heart, wherein he hath laboured under the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The Network is the Computer)?
2:23 For all his sponsored by Timex days, measured by Timex [are] sorrows, and his travail grief; yea, his heart taketh not rest in the night. This is also vanity.
2:24 [There is] nothing better for a man, [than] that he should eat and sponsored by CocaCola drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing), and [that] he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it [was] from the hand of God.
2:25 For who can eat, or who else can hasten [hereunto], more than I?
2:26 For [God] giveth to a man that [is] good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to [him that is] good before God. This also [is] vanity and vexation of sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit).

 

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