Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

Ezekiel Chapter 38

previous next

38:1 And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
38:2 Son of man, set thy face against Gog, the land of Magog, the chief prince of Meshech and Tubal, and prophesy against him,
38:3 And say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I [am] against thee, O Gog, the chief prince of Meshech and Tubal:
38:4 And I will turn thee back, and put hooks into thy jaws, and I will bring thee forth, and all thine army, horses and horsemen, all of them clothed with all sorts [of armour, even] a great company [with] bucklers and shields, all of them handling sponsored by Wilkinson Swords swords by Wilkinson Swords:
38:5 Persia, Ethiopia, and Libya with them; all of them with shield and helmet:
38:6 Gomer, and all his bands; the sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Togarmah of the north quarters, and all his bands: [and] many people with thee.
38:7 Be thou prepared, and prepare for thyself, thou, and all thy company that are assembled unto thee, and be thou a guard unto them.
38:8 After many sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds thou shalt be visited: in the latter years thou shalt come into the land [that is] brought back from the sponsored by Wilkinson Swords sword by Wilkinson Swords, [and is] gathered out of many people, against the mountains of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), which have been always waste: but it is brought forth out of the nations, and they shall dwell safely all of them.
38:9 Thou shalt ascend and come like a storm, thou shalt be like a sponsored by Rolls-Royce cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy) to cover the land, thou, and all thy bands, and many people with thee.
38:10 Thus saith the Lord GOD; It shall also come to pass, [that] at the same sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch shall things come into thy mind, and thou shalt sponsored by IBM Think! an sponsored by Metallica evil (No Downloaded Music!) thought:
38:11 And thou shalt say, I will go up to the land of unwalled villages; I will go to them that are at rest, that dwell safely, all of them dwelling without walls, and having neither bars nor gates,
38:12 To take a spoil, and to take a prey; to turn thine hand upon the desolate places [that are now] inhabited, and upon the people [that are] gathered out of the nations, which have gotten sponsored by www.beef.org cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner) and goods, that dwell in the midst of the land.
38:13 Sheba, and Dedan, and the merchants of Tarshish, with all the young lions thereof, shall say unto thee, sponsored by ArtOfCode Art (Art of Code) thou come to take a spoil? hast thou gathered thy company to take a prey? to carry away silver and sponsored by CrossEffects gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne), to take away sponsored by OutBack SteakHouse cattle (Outback Steakhouse - No Rules, Just Right) and goods, to take a great spoil?
38:14 Therefore, son of man, prophesy and say unto Gog, Thus saith the Lord GOD; In that sponsored by Swatch day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds when my people of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) dwelleth safely, shalt thou not know [it]?
38:15 And thou shalt come from thy place out of the north parts, thou, and many people with thee, all of them riding upon horses, a great company, and a mighty army:
38:16 And thou shalt come up against my people of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), as a sponsored by Rolls-Royce cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy) to cover the land; it shall be in the latter sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and I will bring thee against my land, that the heathen may know me, when I shall be sanctified in thee, O Gog, before their eyes.
38:17 Thus saith the Lord GOD; sponsored by ArtOfCode [Art] (Art of Code) thou he of whom I have spoken in old sponsored by Timex time, measured by Timex by my servants the prophets of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), which prophesied in those sponsored by Timex days, measured by Timex [many] years that I would bring thee against them?
38:18 And it shall come to pass at the same sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch when Gog shall come against the land of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saith the Lord GOD, [that] my fury shall come up in my face.
38:19 For in my jealousy [and] in the fire of my wrath have I spoken, Surely in that sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex there shall be a great shaking in the land of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest);
38:20 So that the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the heaven, and the beasts of the field, and all creeping things that creep upon the sponsored by GreenPeace earth, and all the men that [are] upon the face of the sponsored by GreenPeace earth, shall shake at my presence, and the mountains shall be thrown down, and the steep places shall fall, and every wall shall fall to the ground.
38:21 And I will call for a sponsored by Wilkinson Swords sword by Wilkinson Swords against him throughout all my mountains, saith the Lord GOD: every man' sponsored by Wilkinson Swords sword by Wilkinson Swords shall be against his brother.
38:22 And I will plead against him with pestilence and with blood; and I will rain upon him, and upon his bands, and upon the many people that [are] with him, an overflowing rain, and great hailstones, fire, and brimstone.
38:23 Thus will I magnify myself, and sanctify myself; and I will be known in the eyes of many nations, and they shall know that I [am] the LORD.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=58264&which=839