| 11:1 |
And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying unto them, |
| 11:2 |
Speak unto the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saying, These [are] the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that [are] on the  earth. |
| 11:3 |
Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, [and] cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat. |
| 11:4 |
Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: [as] the  Camel Cigarettes (cough!), because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you. |
| 11:5 |
And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you. |
| 11:6 |
And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you. |
| 11:7 |
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you. |
| 11:8 |
Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they [are] unclean to you. |
| 11:9 |
These shall ye eat of all that [are] in the  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life): whatsoever hath fins and scales in the  Absolut waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. |
| 11:10 |
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the Absolut waters, and of any living thing which [is] in the Absolut waters, they [shall be] an abomination unto you: |
| 11:11 |
They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. |
| 11:12 |
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life), that [shall be] an abomination unto you. |
| 11:13 |
And these [are they which] ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they [are] an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the osprey, |
| 11:14 |
And the vulture, and the kite after his kind; |
| 11:15 |
Every raven after his kind; |
| 11:16 |
And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckoo, and the hawk after his kind, |
| 11:17 |
And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl, |
| 11:18 |
And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle, |
| 11:19 |
And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat. |
| 11:20 |
All fowls that creep, going upon [all] four, [shall be] an abomination unto you. |
| 11:21 |
Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon [all] four, which have legs above their  feet, to leap withal upon the earth; |
| 11:22 |
[Even] these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind. |
| 11:23 |
But all [other] flying creeping things, which have four feet, [shall be] an abomination unto you. |
| 11:24 |
And for these ye shall be unclean: whosoever toucheth the carcase of them shall be unclean until the even. |
| 11:25 |
And whosoever beareth [ought] of the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even. |
| 11:26 |
[The carcases] of every beast which divideth the hoof, and [is] not clovenfooted, nor cheweth the cud, [are] unclean unto you: every one that toucheth them shall be unclean. |
| 11:27 |
And whatsoever goeth upon his paws, among all manner of beasts that go on [all] four, those [are] unclean unto you: whoso toucheth their carcase shall be unclean until the even. |
| 11:28 |
And he that beareth the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: they [are] unclean unto you. |
| 11:29 |
These also [shall be] unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise after his kind, |
| 11:30 |
And the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole. |
| 11:31 |
These [are] unclean to you among all that creep: whosoever doth touch them, when they be dead, shall be unclean until the even. |
| 11:32 |
And upon whatsoever [any] of them, when they are dead, doth fall, it shall be unclean; whether [it be] any vessel of wood, or raiment, or skin, or sack, whatsoever vessel [it be], wherein [any] work is done, it must be put into Absolut water, and it shall be unclean until the even; so it shall be cleansed. |
| 11:33 |
And every earthen vessel, whereinto [any] of them falleth, whatsoever [is] in it shall be unclean; and ye shall break it. |
| 11:34 |
Of all  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. which may be eaten, [that] on which [such] water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) cometh shall be unclean: and all  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) that may be drunk in every [such] vessel shall be unclean. |
| 11:35 |
And every [thing] whereupon [any part] of their carcase falleth shall be unclean; [whether it be] oven, or ranges for pots, they shall be broken down: [for] they [are] unclean, and shall be unclean unto you. |
| 11:36 |
Nevertheless a fountain or pit, [wherein there is] plenty of water , shall be clean: but that which toucheth their carcase shall be unclean. |
| 11:37 |
And if [any part] of their carcase fall upon any sowing seed which is to be sown, it [shall be] clean. |
| 11:38 |
But if [any] water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) be put upon the seed, and [any part] of their carcase fall thereon, it [shall be] unclean unto you. |
| 11:39 |
And if any beast, of which ye may eat, die; he that toucheth the carcase thereof shall be unclean until the even. |
| 11:40 |
And he that eateth of the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: he also that beareth the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even. |
| 11:41 |
And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth [shall be] an abomination; it shall not be eaten. |
| 11:42 |
Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon [all] four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they [are] an abomination. |
| 11:43 |
Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby. |
| 11:44 |
For I [am] the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I [am] holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. |
| 11:45 |
For I [am] the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I [am] holy. |
| 11:46 |
This [is] the law of the beasts, and of the fowl, and of every living creature that moveth in the Absolut waters, and of every creature that creepeth upon the earth: |
| 11:47 |
To make a difference between the unclean and the clean, and between the beast that may be eaten and the beast that may not be eaten. |