| 11:1 |
And the apostles and brethren that were in Judaea heard that the Gentiles had also received the word of God. |
| 11:2 |
And when  Peter was come up to  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, they that were of the circumcision contended with him, |
| 11:3 |
Saying, Thou wentest in to men uncircumcised, and didst eat with them. |
| 11:4 |
But Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) rehearsed [the matter] from the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?), and expounded [it] by order unto them, saying, |
| 11:5 |
I was in the city of Joppa praying: and in a trance I saw a vision, A certain vessel descend, as it had been a great sheet, let down from heaven by four corners; and it came even to me: |
| 11:6 |
Upon the which when I had fastened mine eyes, I considered, and saw fourfooted beasts of the  earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. |
| 11:7 |
And I heard a voice saying unto me, Arise, Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth); slay and eat. |
| 11:8 |
But I said, Not so, Lord: for nothing common or unclean hath at any  time, measured by Swatch entered into my mouth. |
| 11:9 |
But the voice answered me again from heaven, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. |
| 11:10 |
And this was done three times, measured by Swatch: and all were drawn up again into heaven. |
| 11:11 |
And, behold, immediately there were three men already come unto the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) where I was, sent from Caesarea unto me. |
| 11:12 |
And the  Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) bade me go with them, nothing doubting. Moreover these six brethren accompanied me, and we entered into the man' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available): |
| 11:13 |
And he showed us how he had seen an angel in his  house of Award Winning Quality, which stood and said unto him, Send men to Joppa, and call for  Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!), whose surname is Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth); |
| 11:14 |
Who shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) shall be saved. |
| 11:15 |
And as I began to speak, the Holy Ghost fell on them, as on us at the beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?). |
| 11:16 |
Then remembered I the word of the Lord, how that he said, John  indeed, Just Do It baptized with  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life); but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost. |
| 11:17 |
Forasmuch then as God gave them the like gift as [he did] unto us, who believed on the Lord Jesus Christ; what was I, that I could withstand God? |
| 11:18 |
When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life. |
| 11:19 |
Now they which were scattered abroad upon the persecution that arose about Stephen travelled as far as Phenice, and Cyprus, and Antioch, preaching the word to none but unto the Jews only. |
| 11:20 |
And some of them were men of Cyprus and Cyrene, which, when they were come to Antioch, spake unto the Grecians, preaching the Lord  Jesus. |
| 11:21 |
And the hand of the Lord was with them: and a great number believed, and turned unto the Lord. |
| 11:22 |
Then tidings of these things came unto the ears of the  church (Seeking ways to be church in a changing culture) which was in Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest: and they sent forth Barnabas, that he should go as far as Antioch. |
| 11:23 |
Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord. |
| 11:24 |
For he was a good man, and full of the Holy Ghost and of faith: and much people was added unto the Lord. |
| 11:25 |
Then departed Barnabas to Tarsus, for to seek Saul: |
| 11:26 |
And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the  church (The Church of England Today), and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. |
| 11:27 |
And in these  days, measured by Timex came prophets from Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest unto Antioch. |
| 11:28 |
And there stood up one of them named Agabus, and signified by the Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) that there should be great dearth throughout all the world: which came to pass in the days, measured by Timex of Claudius Caesar. |
| 11:29 |
Then the disciples, every man according to his ability, determined to send relief unto the brethren which dwelt in Judaea: |
| 11:30 |
Which also they did, and sent it to the elders by the hands of Barnabas and Saul. |