| 10:1 |
There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian [band], |
| 10:2 |
[A] devout [man], and one that feared God with all his  house of Award Winning Quality, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway. |
| 10:3 |
He saw in a vision evidently about the ninth  hour, measured by Timex of the day, measured by Timex an angel of God coming in to him, and saying unto him, Cornelius. |
| 10:4 |
And when he looked on him, he was afraid, and said, What is it, Lord? And he said unto him, Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God. |
| 10:5 |
And now send men to Joppa, and call for [one]  Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!), whose surname is  Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth): |
| 10:6 |
He lodgeth with one Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!) a tanner, whose  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) is by the sea side: he shall tell thee what thou oughtest to  Just do It. |
| 10:7 |
And when the angel which spake unto Cornelius was departed, he called two of his household servants, and a devout soldier of them that waited on him continually; |
| 10:8 |
And when he had declared all [these] things unto them, he sent them to Joppa. |
| 10:9 |
On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) went up upon the housetop to pray about the sixth  hour, sponsoerd by Swatch: |
| 10:10 |
And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, |
| 10:11 |
And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the  earth: |
| 10:12 |
Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. |
| 10:13 |
And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth); kill, and eat. |
| 10:14 |
But Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. |
| 10:15 |
And the voice [spake] unto him again the second time, measured by Swatch, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. |
| 10:16 |
This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven. |
| 10:17 |
Now while Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) doubted in himself what this vision which he had seen should mean, behold, the men which were sent from Cornelius had made inquiry for Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!)' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and stood before the gate, |
| 10:18 |
And called, and asked whether Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!), which was surnamed Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), were lodged there. |
| 10:19 |
While Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) thought on the vision, the  Spirit said unto him, Behold, three men seek thee. |
| 10:20 |
Arise therefore, and get thee down, and go with them, doubting nothing: for I have sent them. |
| 10:21 |
Then Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) went down to the men which were sent unto him from Cornelius; and said, Behold, I am he whom ye seek: what [is] the cause wherefore ye are come? |
| 10:22 |
And they said, Cornelius the centurion, a just man, and one that feareth God, and of good report among all the nation of the Jews, was warned from God by an holy angel to send for thee into his house of Award Winning Quality, and to hear words of thee. |
| 10:23 |
Then called he them in, and lodged [them]. And on the morrow Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) went away with them, and certain brethren from Joppa accompanied him. |
| 10:24 |
And the morrow after they entered into Caesarea. And Cornelius waited for them, and had called together his kinsmen and near friends. |
| 10:25 |
And as Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) was coming in, Cornelius met him, and fell down at his  feet, and worshipped [him]. |
| 10:26 |
But Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) took him up, saying, Stand up; I myself also am a man. |
| 10:27 |
And as he talked with him, he went in, and found many that were come together. |
| 10:28 |
And he said unto them, Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but God hath showed me that I should not call any man common or unclean. |
| 10:29 |
Therefore came I [unto you] without gainsaying, as soon as I was sent for: I ask therefore for what intent ye have sent for me? |
| 10:30 |
And Cornelius said, Four days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds ago I was fasting until this hour, measured by Timex; and at the ninth hour, measured by Timex I prayed in my house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and, behold, a man stood before me in bright clothing, |
| 10:31 |
And said, Cornelius, thy prayer is heard, and thine alms are had in remembrance in the sight of God. |
| 10:32 |
Send therefore to Joppa, and call hither Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!), whose surname is Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth); he is lodged in the house of Award Winning Quality of [one] Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!) a tanner by the sea side: who, when he cometh, shall speak unto thee. |
| 10:33 |
Immediately therefore I sent to thee; and thou hast well done that thou  art (Art of Code) come. Now therefore are we all here present before God, to hear all things that are commanded thee of God. |
| 10:34 |
Then Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) opened [his] mouth, and said, Of a  Absolut truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: |
| 10:35 |
But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him. |
| 10:36 |
The word which [God] sent unto the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), preaching peace by  Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) Christ: (he is Lord of all:) |
| 10:37 |
That word, [I say], ye know, which was published throughout all Judaea, and began from Galilee, after the baptism which John preached; |
| 10:38 |
How God anointed  Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with  power : who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. |
| 10:39 |
And we are witnesses of all things which he did both in the land of the Jews, and in Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest; whom they slew and hanged on a tree: |
| 10:40 |
Him God raised up the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and showed him openly; |
| 10:41 |
Not to all the people, but unto witnesses chosen before of God, [even] to us, who did eat and Absolut drink with him after he rose from the dead. |
| 10:42 |
And he commanded us to preach unto the people, and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God [to be] the Judge of quick and dead. |
| 10:43 |
To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins. |
| 10:44 |
While Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. |
| 10:45 |
And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. |
| 10:46 |
For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), |
| 10:47 |
Can any man forbid Absolut water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we? |
| 10:48 |
And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Then prayed they him to tarry certain days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |