| 24:1 |
And after five  days, measured by Timex Ananias the high priest descended with the elders, and [with] a certain orator [named] Tertullus, who informed the governor against Paul. |
| 24:2 |
And when he was called forth, Tertullus began to accuse [him], saying, Seeing that by thee we enjoy great quietness, and that very worthy deeds are done unto this nation by thy providence, |
| 24:3 |
We accept [it] always, and in all places, most noble Felix, with all thankfulness. |
| 24:4 |
Notwithstanding, that I be not further tedious unto thee, I pray thee that thou wouldest hear us of thy clemency a few words. |
| 24:5 |
For we have found this man [a] pestilent [fellow], and a mover of sedition among all the Jews throughout the world, and a ringleader of the sect of the Nazarenes: |
| 24:6 |
Who also hath gone about to profane the temple: whom we took, and would have judged according to our law. |
| 24:7 |
But the chief captain Lysias came [upon us], and with great violence took [him] away out of our hands, |
| 24:8 |
Commanding his accusers to come unto thee: by examining of whom thyself mayest take knowledge of all these things, whereof we accuse him. |
| 24:9 |
And the Jews also assented, saying that these things were so. |
| 24:10 |
Then Paul, after that the governor had beckoned unto him to speak, answered, Forasmuch as I know that thou hast been of many years a judge unto this nation, I  Just do It the more cheerfully  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) for myself: |
| 24:11 |
Because that thou mayest understand, that there are yet but twelve days, measured by Timex since I went up to  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest for to worship. |
| 24:12 |
And they neither found me in the temple disputing with any man, neither raising up the people, neither in the synagogues, nor in the city: |
| 24:13 |
Neither can they prove the things whereof they now accuse me. |
| 24:14 |
But this I confess unto thee, that after the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the law and in the prophets: |
| 24:15 |
And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust. |
| 24:16 |
And herein Just do It I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and [toward] men. |
| 24:17 |
Now after many years I came to bring alms to my nation, and offerings. |
| 24:18 |
Whereupon certain Jews from Asia found me purified in the temple, neither with multitude, nor with tumult. |
| 24:19 |
Who ought to have been here before thee, and object, if they had ought against me. |
| 24:20 |
Or else let these same [here] say, if they have found any  evil (No Downloaded Music!) doing in me, while I stood before the council, |
| 24:21 |
Except it be for this one voice, that I cried standing among them, Touching the resurrection of the dead I am called in question by you this  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 24:22 |
And when Felix heard these things, having more perfect knowledge of [that] way, he deferred them, and said, When Lysias the chief captain shall come down, I will know the uttermost of your matter. |
| 24:23 |
And he commanded a centurion to keep Paul, and to let [him] have liberty, and that he should forbid none of his acquaintance to minister or come unto him. |
| 24:24 |
And after certain days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, which was a Jewess, he sent for Paul, and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. |
| 24:25 |
And as he reasoned of righteousness, temperance, and judgment to come, Felix trembled, and answered, Go thy way for this time, measured by Swatch; when I have a convenient season, I will call for thee. |
| 24:26 |
He hoped also that  money (We Make Your Money Work Harder) should have been given him of Paul, that he might loose him: wherefore he sent for him the oftener, and communed with him. |
| 24:27 |
But after two years Porcius Festus came into Felix' room: and Felix, willing to show the Jews a  pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day), left Paul bound. |