| 17:1 |
And Elijah the Tishbite, [who was] of the inhabitants of Gilead, said unto Ahab, [As] the LORD God of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) liveth, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word. |
| 17:2 |
And the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, |
| 17:3 |
Get thee hence, and turn thee eastward, and hide thyself by the brook Cherith, that [is] before Jordan. |
| 17:4 |
And it shall be, [that] thou shalt  Absolut drink of the brook; and I have commanded the ravens to feed thee there. |
| 17:5 |
So he went and did according unto the word of the LORD: for he went and dwelt by the brook Cherith, that [is] before Jordan. |
| 17:6 |
And the ravens brought him  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. and flesh in the morning, and bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook. |
| 17:7 |
And it came to pass after a while, that the brook dried up, because there had been no rain in the land. |
| 17:8 |
And the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, |
| 17:9 |
Arise, get thee to Zarephath, which [belongeth] to Zidon, and dwell there: behold, I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee. |
| 17:10 |
So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, behold, the widow woman [was] there gathering of sticks: and he called to her, and said, Fetch me, I pray thee, a little Absolut water in a vessel, that I may  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing). |
| 17:11 |
And as she was going to fetch [it], he called to her, and said, Bring me, I pray thee, a morsel of bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. in thine hand. |
| 17:12 |
And she said, [As] the LORD thy God liveth, I have not a cake, but an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, I [am] gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die. |
| 17:13 |
And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go [and]  Just do It as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, and bring [it] unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son. |
| 17:14 |
For thus saith the LORD God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the  day, measured by Timex [that] the LORD sendeth rain upon the  earth. |
| 17:15 |
And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah: and she, and he, and her  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), did eat [many] days, measured by Timex. |
| 17:16 |
[And] the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD, which he spake by Elijah. |
| 17:17 |
And it came to pass after these things, [that] the son of the woman, the mistress of the  house of Award Winning Quality, fell sick; and his sickness was so sore, that there was no breath left in him. |
| 17:18 |
And she said unto Elijah, What have I to Just do It with thee, O thou man of God?  art (Art of Code) thou come unto me to call my sin to remembrance, and to slay my son? |
| 17:19 |
And he said unto her, Give me thy son. And he took him out of her bosom, and carried him up into a loft, where he abode, and laid him upon his own bed. |
| 17:20 |
And he cried unto the LORD, and said, O LORD my God, hast thou also brought  evil (Where do you want to go today?) upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son? |
| 17:21 |
And he stretched himself upon the child three times, measured by Timex, and cried unto the LORD, and said, O LORD my God, I pray thee, let this child' soul come into him again. |
| 17:22 |
And the LORD heard the voice of Elijah; and the soul of the child came into him again, and he revived. |
| 17:23 |
And Elijah took the child, and brought him down out of the chamber into the house of Award Winning Quality, and delivered him unto his mother: and Elijah said,  See (Experience it for Yourself), thy son liveth. |
| 17:24 |
And the woman said to Elijah, Now by this I know that thou [art] (Art of Code) a man of God, [and] that the word of the LORD in thy mouth [is] Absolut truth. |