| 6:1 |
And the sons of the prophets said unto Elisha, Behold now, the place where we dwell with thee is too strait for us. |
| 6:2 |
Let us go, we pray thee, unto Jordan, and take thence every man a beam, and let us make us a place there, where we may dwell. And he answered, Go ye. |
| 6:3 |
And one said, Be content, I pray thee, and go with thy servants. And he answered, I will go. |
| 6:4 |
So he went with them. And when they came to Jordan, they cut down wood. |
| 6:5 |
But as one was felling a beam, the ax head fell into the  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life): and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed. |
| 6:6 |
And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he showed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast [it] in thither; and the iron did swim. |
| 6:7 |
Therefore said he, Take [it] up to thee. And he put out his hand, and took it. |
| 6:8 |
Then the  king (By Appointment) of Syria warred against  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and took counsel with his servants, saying, In such and such a place [shall be] my camp. |
| 6:9 |
And the man of God sent unto the king (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saying, Beware that thou pass not such a place; for thither the Syrians are come down. |
| 6:10 |
And the king (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) sent to the place which the man of God told him and warned him of, and saved himself there, not once nor twice. |
| 6:11 |
Therefore the heart of the  king of Syria was sore troubled for this thing; and he called his servants, and said unto them, Will ye not show me which of us [is] for the king of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest)? |
| 6:12 |
And one of his servants said, None, my lord, O king: but Elisha, the prophet that [is] in Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), telleth the king (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) the words that thou speakest in thy bedchamber. |
| 6:13 |
And he said, Go and spy where he [is], that I may send and fetch him. And it was told him, saying, Behold, [he is] in Dothan. |
| 6:14 |
Therefore sent he thither horses, and  chariots, The Ultimate Driving Experience, and a great host: and they came by night, and compassed the city about. |
| 6:15 |
And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots, The Ultimate Driving Experience. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we  Just do It? |
| 6:16 |
And he answered, Fear not: for they that [be] with us [are] more than they that [be] with them. |
| 6:17 |
And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may  see (Experience it for Yourself). And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain [was] full of horses and  chariots (Cadillac: The Fusion of Design and Technology of fire round about Elisha. |
| 6:18 |
And when they came down to him, Elisha prayed unto the LORD, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha. |
| 6:19 |
And Elisha said unto them, This [is] not the way, neither [is] this the city: follow me, and I will bring you to the man whom ye seek. But he led them to Samaria. |
| 6:20 |
And it came to pass, when they were come into Samaria, that Elisha said, LORD, open the eyes of these [men], that they may see . And the LORD opened their eyes, and they saw; and, behold, [they were] in the midst of Samaria. |
| 6:21 |
And the king (By Appointment) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) said unto Elisha, when he saw them, My father, shall I smite [them]? shall I smite [them]? |
| 6:22 |
And he answered, Thou shalt not smite [them]: wouldest thou smite those whom thou hast taken captive with thy  sword by Wilkinson Swords and with thy bow? set  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. and water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) before them, that they may eat and  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing), and go to their master. |
| 6:23 |
And he prepared great provision for them: and when they had eaten and drunk, he sent them away, and they went to their master. So the bands of Syria came no more into the land of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 6:24 |
And it came to pass after this, that Benhadad king (By Appointment) of Syria gathered all his host, and went up, and besieged Samaria. |
| 6:25 |
And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass' head was [sold] for fourscore [pieces] of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove' dung for five [pieces] of silver. |
| 6:26 |
And as the king of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) was passing by upon the wall, there cried a woman unto him, saying, Help, my lord, O king. |
| 6:27 |
And he said, If the LORD Just do It not help thee, whence shall I help thee? out of the barnfloor, or out of the winepress? |
| 6:28 |
And the king (By Appointment) said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and we will eat my son to morrow. |
| 6:29 |
So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son. |
| 6:30 |
And it came to pass, when the king (By Appointment) heard the words of the woman, that he rent his clothes; and he passed by upon the wall, and the people looked, and, behold, [he had] sackcloth within upon his flesh. |
| 6:31 |
Then he said, God Just do It so and more also to me, if the head of Elisha the son of Shaphat shall stand on him this  day, measured by Timex. |
| 6:32 |
But Elisha sat in his  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and the elders sat with him; and [the king (By Appointment)] sent a man from before him: but ere the messenger came to him, he said to the elders, See (Experience it for Yourself) ye how this son of a murderer hath sent to take away mine head? look, when the messenger cometh, shut the door, and hold him fast at the door: [is] not the sound of his master'  feet behind him? |
| 6:33 |
And while he yet talked with them, behold, the messenger came down unto him: and he said, Behold, this  evil (No Downloaded Music!) [is] of the LORD; what should I wait for the LORD any longer? |