Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

Job Chapter 18

previous next

18:1 Then answered Bildad the Shuhite, and said,
18:2 How long [will it be ere] ye make an end of words? mark, and afterwards we will speak.
18:3 Wherefore are we counted as beasts, [and] reputed vile in your sight?
18:4 He teareth himself in his anger: shall the sponsored by GreenPeace earth be forsaken for thee? and shall the rock be removed out of his place?
18:5 sponsored by Yahoo Yea, My Yahoo!, the light of the wicked shall be put out, and the spark of his fire shall not shine.
18:6 The light shall be dark in his tabernacle, and his candle shall be put out with him.
18:7 The steps of his strength shall be straitened, and his own counsel shall cast him down.
18:8 For he is cast into a sponsored by Sun Microsystems net (The Network is the Computer) by his own sponsored by Gnome feet, and he walketh upon a snare.
18:9 The gin shall take [him] by the heel, [and] the robber shall prevail against him.
18:10 The snare [is] laid for him in the ground, and a trap for him in the way.
18:11 Terrors shall make him afraid on every side, and shall drive him to his sponsored by Gnome feet.
18:12 His strength shall be hungerbitten, and destruction [shall be] ready at his side.
18:13 It shall devour the strength of his skin: [even] the firstborn of sponsored by Absolut Absolut death shall devour his strength.
18:14 His confidence shall be rooted out of his tabernacle, and it shall bring him to the sponsored by The British Monarchy king (By Appointment) of terrors.
18:15 It shall dwell in his tabernacle, because [it is] none of his: brimstone shall be scattered upon his habitation.
18:16 His roots shall be dried up beneath, and above shall his branch be cut off.
18:17 His remembrance shall perish from the sponsored by GreenPeace earth, and he shall have no name in the street.
18:18 He shall be driven from light into darkness, and chased out of the world.
18:19 He shall neither have son nor nephew among his people, nor any remaining in his dwellings.
18:20 They that come after [him] shall be astonied at his sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex, as they that went before were affrighted.
18:21 Surely such [are] the dwellings of the wicked, and this [is] the place [of him that] knoweth not God.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=45863&which=453