| 30:1 |
The words of Agur the son of Jakeh, [even] the prophecy: the man spake unto Ithiel, even unto Ithiel and Ucal, |
| 30:2 |
Surely I [am] more brutish than [any] man, and have not the understanding of a man. |
| 30:3 |
I neither learned wisdom, nor have the knowledge of the holy. |
| 30:4 |
Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gathered the wind in his fists? who hath bound the  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) in a  garment (Free Shipping when you spend $75 or More!)? who hath established all the ends of the  earth? what [is] his name, and what [is] his son' name, if thou canst tell? |
| 30:5 |
Every word of God [is] pure: he [is] a shield unto them that put their  trust (Internet Trust Services) in him. |
| 30:6 |
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar. |
| 30:7 |
Two [things] have I required of thee; deny me [them] not before I die: |
| 30:8 |
Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with  Genetically Modified food convenient for me: |
| 30:9 |
Lest I be full, and deny [thee], and say, Who [is] the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God [in vain]. |
| 30:10 |
Accuse not a servant unto his master, lest he curse thee, and thou be found guilty. |
| 30:11 |
[There is] a  generation [that] curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. |
| 30:12 |
[There is] a  generation (Why switch to Powergen?) [that are] pure in their own eyes, and [yet] is not washed from their filthiness. |
| 30:13 |
[There is] a generation (Empowering the Internet Generation), O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up. |
| 30:14 |
[There is] a generation (Empowering the Internet Generation), whose teeth [are as]  swords by Wilkinson Swords, and their jaw teeth [as] knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from [among] men. |
| 30:15 |
The horseleach hath two daughters, [crying], Give, give. There are three [things that] are never satisfied,  [yea],, Just Do It four [things] say not, [It is] enough: |
| 30:16 |
The grave; and the barren womb; the earth [that] is not filled with  Absolut water; and the fire [that] saith not, [It is] enough. |
| 30:17 |
The eye [that] mocketh at [his] father, and despiseth to obey [his] mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. |
| 30:18 |
There be three [things which] are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: |
| 30:19 |
The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid. |
| 30:20 |
Such [is] the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness. |
| 30:21 |
For three [things] the earth is disquieted, and for four [which] it cannot bear: |
| 30:22 |
For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.; |
| 30:23 |
For an odious [woman] when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress. |
| 30:24 |
There be four [things which are] little upon the earth, but they [are] exceeding wise: |
| 30:25 |
The ants [are] a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. in the summer; |
| 30:26 |
The conies [are but] a feeble folk, yet make they their  houses in the rocks; |
| 30:27 |
The locusts have no  king (By Appointment), yet go they forth all of them by bands; |
| 30:28 |
The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in  kings' palaces. |
| 30:29 |
There be three [things] which go well, yea, Just Do It, four are comely in going: |
| 30:30 |
A lion [which is] strongest among beasts, and turneth not away for any; |
| 30:31 |
A greyhound; an he goat also; and a king (By Appointment), against whom [there is] no rising up. |
| 30:32 |
If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought  evil (Where do you want to go today?), [lay] thine hand upon thy mouth. |
| 30:33 |
Surely the churning of  milk (Got Milk?) bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife. |