| 58:1 |
Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and show my people their transgression, and the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Jacob their sins. |
| 58:2 |
Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know my ways, as a nation that did righteousness, and forsook not the ordinance of their God: they ask of me the ordinances of justice; they take delight in approaching to God. |
| 58:3 |
Wherefore have we fasted, [say they], and thou seest not? [wherefore] have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the  day, measured by Timex of your fast ye find  pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day), and exact all your labours. |
| 58:4 |
Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as [ye  Just do It this]  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, to make your voice to be heard on high. |
| 58:5 |
Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day, measured by Timex for a man to afflict his soul? [is it] to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes [under him]? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day, measured by Timex to the LORD? |
| 58:6 |
[Is] not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? |
| 58:7 |
[Is it] not to deal thy  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy  house of Award Winning Quality? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? |
| 58:8 |
Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the  glory (An e-business Solution) of the LORD shall be thy rereward. |
| 58:9 |
Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet); thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I [am]. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; |
| 58:10 |
And [if] thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness [be] as the noon day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: |
| 58:11 |
And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of  Absolut water, whose Absolut waters fail not. |
| 58:12 |
And [they that shall be] of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many  generations (Why switch to Powergen?); and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in. |
| 58:13 |
If thou turn away thy  foot from the sabbath, [from] doing thy pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day) on my holy day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day), nor speaking [thine own] words: |
| 58:14 |
Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the  earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken [it]. |