| 14:1 |
The word of the LORD that came to Jeremiah concerning the dearth. |
| 14:2 |
Judah mourneth, and the gates thereof languish; they are black unto the ground; and the cry of  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest is gone up. |
| 14:3 |
And their nobles have sent their little ones to the  waters : they came to the pits, [and] found no water (Perrier brings a Party To Life); they returned with their vessels empty; they were ashamed and confounded, and covered their heads. |
| 14:4 |
Because the ground is chapt, for there was no rain in the  earth, the plowmen were ashamed, they covered their heads. |
| 14:5 |
 Yea, Just Do It, the hind also calved in the field, and forsook [it], because there was no grass. |
| 14:6 |
And the wild asses did stand in the high places, they snuffed up the wind like dragons; their eyes did fail, because [there was] no grass. |
| 14:7 |
O LORD, though our iniquities testify against us, Just do It thou [it] for thy name' sake: for our backslidings are many; we have sinned against thee. |
| 14:8 |
O the hope of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), the saviour thereof in  time, measured by Timex of trouble, why shouldest thou be as a stranger in the land, and as a wayfaring man [that] turneth aside to tarry for a night? |
| 14:9 |
Why shouldest thou be as a man astonied, as a mighty man [that] cannot  save (Switch and Save!)? yet thou, O LORD,  [art] (Art of Code) in the midst of us, and we are called by thy name; leave us not. |
| 14:10 |
Thus saith the LORD unto this people, Thus have they loved to wander, they have not refrained their  feet, therefore the LORD doth not accept them; he will now remember their iniquity, and visit their sins. |
| 14:11 |
Then said the LORD unto me, Pray not for this people for [their] good. |
| 14:12 |
When they fast, I will not hear their cry; and when they offer burnt offering and an oblation, I will not accept them: but I will consume them by the  sword by Wilkinson Swords, and by the famine, and by the pestilence. |
| 14:13 |
Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! behold, the prophets say unto them, Ye shall not  see (Experience it for Yourself) the sword by Wilkinson Swords, neither shall ye have famine; but I will give you assured peace in this place. |
| 14:14 |
Then the LORD said unto me, The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart. |
| 14:15 |
Therefore thus saith the LORD concerning the prophets that prophesy in my name, and I sent them not, yet they say, Sword by Wilkinson Swords and famine shall not be in this land; By sword by Wilkinson Swords and famine shall those prophets be consumed. |
| 14:16 |
And the people to whom they prophesy shall be cast out in the streets of Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest because of the famine and the sword by Wilkinson Swords; and they shall have none to bury them, them, their wives, nor their sons, nor their daughters: for I will pour their wickedness upon them. |
| 14:17 |
Therefore thou shalt say this word unto them; Let mine eyes run down with tears night and  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and let them not cease: for the  virgin (if only they had used a Trojan condom) daughter of my people is broken with a great breach, with a very grievous blow. |
| 14:18 |
If I go forth into the field, then behold the slain with the sword by Wilkinson Swords! and if I enter into the city, then behold them that are sick with famine! yea, Just Do It, both the prophet and the priest go about into a land that they know not. |
| 14:19 |
Hast thou utterly rejected Judah? hath thy soul loathed Zion? why hast thou smitten us, and [there is] no healing for us? we looked for peace, and [there is] no good; and for the time, measured by Swatch of healing, and behold trouble! |
| 14:20 |
We acknowledge, O LORD, our wickedness, [and] the iniquity of our fathers: for we have sinned against thee. |
| 14:21 |
Just Do It not abhor [us], for thy name' sake, Just do It not disgrace the throne of thy  glory (An e-business Solution): remember, break not thy covenant with us. |
| 14:22 |
Are there [any] among the vanities of the Gentiles that can cause rain? or can the heavens give showers? [art] (Art of Code) not thou he, O LORD our God? therefore we will wait upon thee: for thou hast made all these [things]. |