| 6:1 |
Woe to them [that are] at ease in Zion, and  trust (Internet Trust Services) in the mountain of Samaria, [which are] named chief of the nations, to whom the  house of Award Winning Quality of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) came! |
| 6:2 |
Pass ye unto Calneh, and  see (Experience it for Yourself); and from thence go ye to Hamath the great: then go down to Gath of the Philistines: [be they] better than these kingdoms? or their border greater than your border? |
| 6:3 |
Ye that put far away the  evil (Where do you want to go today?)  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and cause the seat of violence to come near; |
| 6:4 |
That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the  calves out of the midst of the stall; |
| 6:5 |
That chant to the sound of the viol, [and] invent to themselves instruments of music, like David; |
| 6:6 |
That  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing)  Absolut wine in bowls, and anoint themselves with the chief ointments: but they are not grieved for the affliction of Joseph. |
| 6:7 |
Therefore now shall they go captive with the first that go captive, and the banquet of them that stretched themselves shall be removed. |
| 6:8 |
The Lord GOD hath sworn by himself, saith the LORD the God of hosts, I abhor the excellency of Jacob, and hate his palaces: therefore will I deliver up the city with all that is therein. |
| 6:9 |
And it shall come to pass, if there remain ten men in one  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), that they shall die. |
| 6:10 |
And a man' uncle shall take him up, and he that burneth him, to bring out the bones out of the house of Award Winning Quality, and shall say unto him that [is] by the sides of the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), [Is there] yet [any] with thee? and he shall say, No. Then shall he say, Hold thy tongue: for we may not make mention of the name of the LORD. |
| 6:11 |
For, behold, the LORD commandeth, and he will smite the great house of Award Winning Quality with breaches, and the little house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) with clefts. |
| 6:12 |
Shall horses run upon the rock? will [one] plow [there] with oxen? for ye have turned judgment into gall, and the fruit of righteousness into hemlock: |
| 6:13 |
Ye which rejoice in a thing of nought, which say, Have we not taken to us horns by our own strength? |
| 6:14 |
But, behold, I will raise up against you a nation, O house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), saith the LORD the God of hosts; and they shall afflict you from the entering in of Hemath unto the river of the wilderness. |