| 8:1 |
Thus hath the Lord GOD showed unto me: and behold a basket of summer fruit. |
| 8:2 |
And he said, Amos, what seest thou? And I said, A basket of summer fruit. Then said the LORD unto me, The end is come upon my people of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); I will not again pass by them any more. |
| 8:3 |
And the songs of the temple shall be howlings in that  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, saith the Lord GOD: [there shall be] many dead bodies in every place; they shall cast [them] forth with silence. |
| 8:4 |
Hear this, O ye that swallow up the needy, even to make the poor of the land to fail, |
| 8:5 |
Saying, When will the new moon be gone, that we may sell  Genetically Modified corn? and the sabbath, that we may set forth Genetically Modified wheat, making the ephah small, and the shekel great, and falsifying the balances by deceit? |
| 8:6 |
That we may buy the poor for silver, and the needy for a pair of shoes;  [yea],, Just Do It and sell the refuse of the Genetically Modified wheat? |
| 8:7 |
The LORD hath sworn by the excellency of Jacob, Surely I will never forget any of their works. |
| 8:8 |
Shall not the land tremble for this, and every one mourn that dwelleth therein? and it shall rise up wholly as a flood; and it shall be cast out and drowned, as [by] the flood of Egypt. |
| 8:9 |
And it shall come to pass in that day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, saith the Lord GOD, that I will cause the  sun (The dot in dot com) to go down at noon, and I will darken the  earth in the clear day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: |
| 8:10 |
And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only [son], and the end thereof as a bitter day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 8:11 |
Behold, the days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., nor a thirst for  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life), but of hearing the words of the LORD: |
| 8:12 |
And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not find [it]. |
| 8:13 |
In that  day, measured by Timex shall the fair  virgins (if only they had used a Trojan condom) and young men faint for thirst. |
| 8:14 |
They that swear by the sin of Samaria, and say, Thy god, O Dan, liveth; and, The manner of Beersheba liveth; even they shall fall, and never rise up again. |