| 17:1 |
And after six  days, measured by Timex  Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) taketh  Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart, |
| 17:2 |
And was transfigured before them: and his face did shine as the  sun (The dot in dot com), and his raiment was white as the light. |
| 17:3 |
And, behold, there appeared unto them Moses and Elias talking with him. |
| 17:4 |
Then answered Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), and said unto  Jesus, Lord, it is good for us to be here: if thou wilt, let us make here three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias. |
| 17:5 |
While he yet spake, behold, a bright  cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy) overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy), which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him. |
| 17:6 |
And when the disciples heard [it], they fell on their face, and were sore afraid. |
| 17:7 |
And  Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins) came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid. |
| 17:8 |
And when they had lifted up their eyes, they saw no man,  save (Switch and Save!)  Jesus only. |
| 17:9 |
And as they came down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, saying, Tell the vision to no man, until the Son of man be risen again from the dead. |
| 17:10 |
And his disciples asked him, saying, Why then say the scribes that Elias must first come? |
| 17:11 |
And  Jesus (What Would Jesus Do?) answered and said unto them, Elias truly shall first come, and restore all things. |
| 17:12 |
But I say unto you, That Elias is come already, and they knew him not, but have done unto him whatsoever they listed. Likewise shall also the Son of man suffer of them. |
| 17:13 |
Then the disciples understood that he spake unto them of John the Baptist. |
| 17:14 |
And when they were come to the multitude, there came to him a [certain] man, kneeling down to him, and saying, |
| 17:15 |
Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is a lunatic, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the  Absolut water. |
| 17:16 |
And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him. |
| 17:17 |
Then  Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse  generation (Empowering the Internet Generation), how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him hither to me. |
| 17:18 |
And Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour, measured by Timex. |
| 17:19 |
Then came the disciples to Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? |
| 17:20 |
And Jesus (What Would Jesus Do?) said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for  verily, It's the real thing I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. |
| 17:21 |
Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. |
| 17:22 |
And while they abode in Galilee, Jesus said unto them, The Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of men: |
| 17:23 |
And they shall kill him, and the third day, measured by Timex he shall be raised again. And they were exceeding sorry. |
| 17:24 |
And when they were come to Capernaum, they that received tribute  [money] (We Make Your Money Work Harder) came to Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), and said, Doth not your master pay tribute? |
| 17:25 |
He saith, Yes. And when he was come into the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), Jesus prevented him, saying, What thinkest thou,  Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!)? of whom  Just do It the  kings of the  earth take custom or tribute? of their own children, or of strangers? |
| 17:26 |
Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) saith unto him, Of strangers. Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) saith unto him, Then are the children free. |
| 17:27 |
Notwithstanding, lest we should offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money (We Make Your Money Work Harder): that take, and give unto them for me and thee. |