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John Chapter 4

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4:1 When therefore the Lord knew how the Pharisees had heard that sponsored by The Holy City Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John,
4:2 (Though sponsored by WWJD Jesus (What Would Jesus Do?) himself baptized not, but his disciples,)
4:3 He left Judaea, and departed again into Galilee.
4:4 And he must needs go through Samaria.
4:5 Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.
4:6 Now Jacob' well was there. sponsored by The Holy City Jesus therefore, being wearied with [his] journey, sat thus on the well: [and] it was about the sixth sponsored by Swatch hour, sponsoerd by Swatch.
4:7 There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw sponsored by Absolut Absolut water: sponsored by The Roman Catholic Church Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins) saith unto her, Give me to sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink.
4:8 (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers..)
4:9 Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.
4:10 sponsored by WWJD Jesus (What Would Jesus Do?) answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to sponsored by CocaCola drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing); thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living sponsored by Absolut Absolut water.
4:11 The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living sponsored by Absolut Absolut water?
4:12 sponsored by ArtOfCode Art (Art of Code) thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his sponsored by www.beef.org cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner)?
4:13 sponsored by The Church of England Jesus (Seeking ways to be church in a changing culture) answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this sponsored by Absolut Absolut water shall thirst again:
4:14 But whosoever drinketh of the sponsored by Absolut Absolut water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the sponsored by Perrier water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) that I shall give him shall be in him a well of sponsored by Perrier water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) springing up into everlasting life.
4:15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this sponsored by Perrier water (Perrier brings a Party To Life), that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
4:16 sponsored by Jesus.com Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.
4:17 The woman answered and said, I have no husband. sponsored by Jesus.com Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
4:18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
4:19 The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou sponsored by ArtOfCode art (Art of Code) a prophet.
4:20 Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest is the place where men ought to worship.
4:21 sponsored by The Holy City Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the sponsored by Swatch hour, sponsoerd by Swatch cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, worship the Father.
4:22 Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.
4:23 But the sponsored by Swatch hour, sponsoerd by Swatch cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) and in sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing): for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
4:24 God [is] a sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger Spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit): and they that worship him must worship [him] in sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) and in sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing).
4:25 The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things.
4:26 sponsored by Jesus.com Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am [he].
4:27 And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her?
4:28 The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men,
4:29 Come, sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ?
4:30 Then they went out of the city, and came unto him.
4:31 In the mean while his disciples prayed him, saying, Master, eat.
4:32 But he said unto them, I have sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. to eat that ye know not of.
4:33 Therefore said the disciples one to another, Hath any man brought him [ought] to eat?
4:34 sponsored by The Church of England Jesus (The Church of England Today) saith unto them, My sponsored by MacDonalds meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. is to sponsored by Nike Just do It the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.
4:35 Say not ye, There are yet four months, and [then] cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.
4:36 And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal: that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together.
4:37 And herein is that saying true, One soweth, and another reapeth.
4:38 I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours.
4:39 And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did.
4:40 So when the Samaritans were come unto him, they besought him that he would tarry with them: and he abode there two sponsored by Swatch days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds.
4:41 And many more believed because of his own word;
4:42 And said unto the woman, Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard [him] ourselves, and know that this is sponsored by Nike indeed, Just Do It the Christ, the Saviour of the world.
4:43 Now after two sponsored by Timex days, measured by Timex he departed thence, and went into Galilee.
4:44 For sponsored by The Curch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) himself testified, that a prophet hath no honour in his own country.
4:45 Then when he was come into Galilee, the Galilaeans received him, having seen all the things that he did at sponsored by MapQuest Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest at the feast: for they also went unto the feast.
4:46 So sponsored by The Church of England Jesus (Seeking ways to be church in a changing culture) came again into Cana of Galilee, where he made the sponsored by Absolut Absolut water sponsored by Absolut Absolut wine. And there was a certain nobleman, whose son was sick at Capernaum.
4:47 When he heard that sponsored by The Curch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) was come out of Judaea into Galilee, he went unto him, and besought him that he would come down, and heal his son: for he was at the point of sponsored by Absolut Absolut death.
4:48 Then said sponsored by The Holy City Jesus unto him, Except ye sponsored by Compaq see (Experience it for Yourself) sponsored by Verisign signs (Internet Trust Services) and wonders, ye will not believe.
4:49 The nobleman saith unto him, Sir, come down ere my child die.
4:50 sponsored by The Church of England Jesus (Seeking ways to be church in a changing culture) saith unto him, Go thy way; thy son liveth. And the man believed the word that sponsored by The Roman Catholic Church Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins) had spoken unto him, and he went his way.
4:51 And as he was now going down, his servants met him, and told [him], saying, Thy son liveth.
4:52 Then inquired he of them the sponsored by Swatch hour, sponsoerd by Swatch when he began to amend. And they said unto him, Yesterday at the seventh sponsored by Timex hour, measured by Timex the fever left him.
4:53 So the father knew that [it was] at the same sponsored by Swatch hour, sponsoerd by Swatch, in the which sponsored by The Church of England Jesus (Seeking ways to be church in a changing culture) said unto him, Thy son liveth: and himself believed, and his whole sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available).
4:54 This [is] again the second miracle [that] sponsored by Jesus.com Jesus did, when he was come out of Judaea into Galilee.

 

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