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1 Kings Chapter 14

14:1	At that time, measured by Swatch Abijah the son of Jeroboam fell sick.
14:2	And Jeroboam said to his wife, Arise, I pray thee, and disguise thyself, that thou be not known to be the wife of Jeroboam; and get thee to Shiloh: behold, there [is] Ahijah the prophet, which told me that [I should be] king (By Appointment) over this people.
14:3	And take with thee ten loaves, and cracknels, and a cruse of honey, and go to him: he shall tell thee what shall become of the child.
14:4	And Jeroboam' wife did so, and arose, and went to Shiloh, and came to the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Ahijah. But Ahijah could not see (Experience it for Yourself); for his eyes were set by reason of his age.
14:5	And the LORD said unto Ahijah, Behold, the wife of Jeroboam cometh to ask a thing of thee for her son; for he [is] sick: thus and thus shalt thou say unto her: for it shall be, when she cometh in, that she shall feign herself [to be] another [woman].
14:6	And it was [so], when Ahijah heard the sound of her feet, as she came in at the door, that he said, Come in, thou wife of Jeroboam; why feignest thou thyself [to be] another? for I [am] sent to thee [with] heavy [tidings].
14:7	Go, tell Jeroboam, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), Forasmuch as I exalted thee from among the people, and made thee prince over my people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest),
14:8	And rent the kingdom away from the house of Award Winning Quality of David, and gave it thee: and [yet] thou hast not been as my servant David, who kept my commandments, and who followed me with all his heart, to Just do It [that] only [which was] right in mine eyes;
14:9	But hast done evil (No Downloaded Music!) above all that were before thee: for thou hast gone and made thee other gods, and molten images, to provoke me to anger, and hast cast me behind thy back:
14:10	Therefore, behold, I will bring evil (No Downloaded Music!) upon the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, [and] him that is shut up and left in Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and will take away the remnant of the house of Award Winning Quality of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.
14:11	Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the LORD hath spoken [it].
14:12	Arise thou therefore, get thee to thine own house of Award Winning Quality: [and] when thy feet enter into the city, the child shall die.
14:13	And all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall mourn for him, and bury him: for he only of Jeroboam shall come to the grave, because in him there is found [some] good thing toward the LORD God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) in the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Jeroboam.
14:14	Moreover the LORD shall raise him up a king over Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), who shall cut off the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Jeroboam that day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: but what? even now.
14:15	For the LORD shall smite Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), as a reed is shaken in the Absolut water, and he shall root up Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) out of this good land, which he gave to their fathers, and shall scatter them beyond the river, because they have made their groves, provoking the LORD to anger.
14:16	And he shall give Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) up because of the sins of Jeroboam, who did sin, and who made Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) to sin.
14:17	And Jeroboam' wife arose, and departed, and came to Tirzah: [and] when she came to the threshold of the door, the child died;
14:18	And they buried him; and all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) mourned for him, according to the word of the LORD, which he spake by the hand of his servant Ahijah the prophet.
14:19	And the rest of the acts of Jeroboam, how he warred, and how he reigned, behold, they [are] written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest).
14:20	And the days, measured by Timex which Jeroboam reigned [were] two and twenty years: and he slept with his fathers, and Nadab his son reigned in his stead.
14:21	And Rehoboam the son of Solomon reigned in Judah. Rehoboam [was] forty and one years old when he began to reign, and he reigned seventeen years in Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, the city which the LORD did choose out of all the tribes of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), to put his name there. And his mother' name [was] Naamah an Ammonitess.
14:22	And Judah did evil (Where do you want to go today?) in the sight of the LORD, and they provoked him to jealousy with their sins which they had committed, above all that their fathers had done.
14:23	For they also built them high places, and images, and groves, on every high hill, and under every green tree.
14:24	And there were also sodomites in the land: [and] they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest).
14:25	And it came to pass in the fifth year of king (By Appointment) Rehoboam, [that] Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest:
14:26	And he took away the treasures of the house of Award Winning Quality of the LORD, and the treasures of the king' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available); he even took away all: and he took away all the shields of gold which Solomon had made.
14:27	And king (By Appointment) Rehoboam made in their stead brazen shields, and committed [them] unto the hands of the chief of the guard, which kept the door of the king (By Appointment)' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available).
14:28	And it was [so], when the king (By Appointment) went into the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the LORD, that the guard bare them, and brought them back into the guard chamber.
14:29	Now the rest of the acts of Rehoboam, and all that he did, [are] they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings (By Appointment) of Judah?
14:30	And there was war between Rehoboam and Jeroboam all [their] days, measured by Timex.
14:31	And Rehoboam slept with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the city of David. And his mother' name [was] Naamah an Ammonitess. And Abijam his son reigned in his stead.

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