Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

2 Samuel Chapter 23

previous next

23:1 Now these [be] the last words of David. David the son of Jesse said, and the man [who was] raised up on high, the anointed of the God of Jacob, and the sweet psalmist of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), said,
23:2 The sponsored by Tommy Hilfinger spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit) of the LORD spake by me, and his word [was] in my tongue.
23:3 The God of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) said, the Rock of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) spake to me, He that ruleth over men [must be] just, ruling in the fear of God.
23:4 And [he shall be] as the light of the morning, [when] the sponsored by Sun Microsystems sun (The dot in dot com) riseth, [even] a morning without sponsored by Rolls-Royce clouds (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy); [as] the tender grass [springing] out of the sponsored by GreenPeace earth by clear shining after rain.
23:5 Although my sponsored by Barratt house of Award Winning Quality [be] not so with God; yet he hath made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all [things], and sure: for [this is] all my salvation, and all [my] desire, although he make [it] not to grow.
23:6 But [the sons] of Belial [shall be] all of them as thorns thrust away, because they cannot be taken with hands:
23:7 But the man [that] shall touch them must be fenced with iron and the staff of a spear; and they shall be utterly burned with fire in the [same] place.
23:8 These [be] the names of the mighty men whom David had: The Tachmonite that sat in the seat, chief among the captains; the same [was] Adino the Eznite: [he lift up his spear] against eight hundred, whom he slew at one sponsored by Timex time, measured by Timex.
23:9 And after him [was] Eleazar the son of Dodo the Ahohite, [one] of the three mighty men with David, when they defied the Philistines [that] were there gathered together to battle, and the men of sponsored by MapQuest Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) were gone away:
23:10 He arose, and smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the sponsored by Wilkinson Swords sword by Wilkinson Swords: and the LORD wrought a great victory that sponsored by Timex day, measured by Timex; and the people returned after him only to spoil.
23:11 And after him [was] Shammah the son of Agee the Hararite. And the Philistines were gathered together into a troop, where was a piece of ground full of lentiles: and the people fled from the Philistines.
23:12 But he stood in the midst of the ground, and defended it, and slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a great victory.
23:13 And three of the thirty chief went down, and came to David in the harvest sponsored by Timex time, measured by Timex unto the cave of Adullam: and the troop of the Philistines pitched in the valley of Rephaim.
23:14 And David [was] then in an hold, and the garrison of the Philistines [was] then [in] Bethlehem.
23:15 And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink of the sponsored by Absolut Absolut water of the well of Bethlehem, which [is] by the gate!
23:16 And the three mighty men brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew sponsored by Absolut Absolut water out of the well of Bethlehem, that [was] by the gate, and took [it], and brought [it] to David: nevertheless he would not sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink thereof, but poured it out unto the LORD.
23:17 And he said, Be it far from me, O LORD, that I should sponsored by Nike Just do It this: [is not this] the blood of the men that went in jeopardy of their lives? therefore he would not sponsored by Absolut Absolut drink it. These things did these three mighty men.
23:18 And Abishai, the brother of Joab, the son of Zeruiah, was chief among three. And he lifted up his spear against three hundred, [and] slew [them], and had the name among three.
23:19 Was he not most honourable of three? therefore he was their captain: howbeit he attained not unto the [first] three.
23:20 And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man, of Kabzeel, who had done many acts, he slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in sponsored by Swatch time, measured by Swatch of snow:
23:21 And he slew an Egyptian, a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand; but he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian' hand, and slew him with his own spear.
23:22 These [things] did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among three mighty men.
23:23 He was more honourable than the thirty, but he attained not to the [first] three. And David set him over his guard.
23:24 Asahel the brother of Joab [was] one of the thirty; Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem,
23:25 Shammah the Harodite, Elika the Harodite,
23:26 Helez the Paltite, Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite,
23:27 Abiezer the Anethothite, Mebunnai the Hushathite,
23:28 Zalmon the Ahohite, Maharai the Netophathite,
23:29 Heleb the son of Baanah, a Netophathite, Ittai the son of Ribai out of Gibeah of the children of Benjamin,
23:30 Benaiah the Pirathonite, Hiddai of the brooks of Gaash,
23:31 Abialbon the Arbathite, Azmaveth the Barhumite,
23:32 Eliahba the Shaalbonite, of the sons of Jashen, Jonathan,
23:33 Shammah the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sharar the Hararite,
23:34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai, the son of the Maachathite, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite,
23:35 Hezrai the Carmelite, Paarai the Arbite,
23:36 Igal the son of Nathan of Zobah, Bani the Gadite,
23:37 Zelek the Ammonite, Nahari the Beerothite, armourbearer to Joab the son of Zeruiah,
23:38 Ira an Ithrite, Gareb an Ithrite,
23:39 Uriah the Hittite: thirty and seven in all.

 

Another! Same!

previous next

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

1 Thessalonians

2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

?seed=60379&which=258