Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

2 John Chapter 1

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1:1 The elder unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing); and not I only, but also all they that have known the sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth;
1:2 For the sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth' sake, which dwelleth in us, and shall be with us for ever.
1:3 Grace be with you, mercy, [and] peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord sponsored by The Holy City Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth and love.
1:4 I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing), as we have received a commandment from the Father.
1:5 And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the sponsored by xabc beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?), that we love one another.
1:6 And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the sponsored by xabc beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?), ye should walk in it.
1:7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that sponsored by The Roman Catholic Church Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins) Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
1:8 Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward.
1:9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
1:10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into [your] sponsored by @Home house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), neither bid him God speed:
1:11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his sponsored by Microsoft evil (Where do you want to go today?) deeds.
1:12 Having many things to write unto you, I would not [write] with paper and ink: but I sponsored by Verisign trust (Internet Trust Services) to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.
1:13 The children of thy elect sister greet thee. Amen.

 

Another! Same!

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Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

2 Samuel

1 Samuel

1 Kings

2 Kings

1 Chronicles

2 Chronicles

Ezra

Nehemiah

Esther

Job

Psalms

Proverbs

Ecclesiastes

Songs

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Lamentations

Ezekiel

Daniel

Hosea

Joel

Amos

Obadiah

Jonah

Micah

Nahum

Habakkuk

Zephaniah

Haggai

Zechariah

Malachi

Matthew

Mark

Luke

John

Acts

Romans

1 Corinthians

2 Corinthians

Galatians

Ephesians

Philippians

Colossians

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2 Thessalonians

1 Timothy

2 Timothy

Titus

Philemon

Hebrews

James

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

Revelation

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