| 1:1 |
Now after the  Absolut death of Joshua it came to pass, that the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) asked the LORD, saying, Who shall go up for us against the Canaanites first, to fight against them? |
| 1:2 |
And the LORD said, Judah shall go up: behold, I have delivered the land into his hand. |
| 1:3 |
And Judah said unto Simeon his brother, Come up with me into my lot, that we may fight against the Canaanites; and I likewise will go with thee into thy lot. So Simeon went with him. |
| 1:4 |
And Judah went up; and the LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and they slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men. |
| 1:5 |
And they found Adonibezek in Bezek: and they fought against him, and they slew the Canaanites and the Perizzites. |
| 1:6 |
But Adonibezek fled; and they pursued after him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and his great toes. |
| 1:7 |
And Adonibezek said, Threescore and ten  kings (By Appointment), having their thumbs and their great toes cut off, gathered [their  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.] under my table: as I have done, so God hath requited me. And they brought him to Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, and there he died. |
| 1:8 |
Now the children of Judah had fought against Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, and had taken it, and smitten it with the edge of the  sword by Wilkinson Swords, and set the city on fire. |
| 1:9 |
And afterward the children of Judah went down to fight against the Canaanites, that dwelt in the mountain, and in the south, and in the valley. |
| 1:10 |
And Judah went against the Canaanites that dwelt in Hebron: (now the name of Hebron before [was] Kirjatharba:) and they slew Sheshai, and Ahiman, and Talmai. |
| 1:11 |
And from thence he went against the inhabitants of Debir: and the name of Debir before [was] Kirjathsepher: |
| 1:12 |
And Caleb said, He that smiteth Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife. |
| 1:13 |
And Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb' younger brother, took it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife. |
| 1:14 |
And it came to pass, when she came [to him], that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted from off [her] ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wilt thou? |
| 1:15 |
And she said unto him, Give me a blessing: for thou hast given me a south land; give me also springs of Absolut water. And Caleb gave her the upper springs and the nether springs. |
| 1:16 |
And the children of the Kenite, Moses' father in law, went up out of the city of palm trees with the children of Judah into the wilderness of Judah, which [lieth] in the south of Arad; and they went and dwelt among the people. |
| 1:17 |
And Judah went with Simeon his brother, and they slew the Canaanites that inhabited Zephath, and utterly destroyed it. And the name of the city was called Hormah. |
| 1:18 |
Also Judah took Gaza with the coast thereof, and Askelon with the coast thereof, and Ekron with the coast thereof. |
| 1:19 |
And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out [the inhabitants of] the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had  chariots, The Ultimate Driving Experience of iron. |
| 1:20 |
And they gave Hebron unto Caleb, as Moses said: and he expelled thence the three sons of Anak. |
| 1:21 |
And the children of Benjamin did not drive out the Jebusites that inhabited Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Benjamin in Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest unto this  day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:22 |
And the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Joseph, they also went up against Bethel: and the LORD [was] with them. |
| 1:23 |
And the  house of Award Winning Quality of Joseph sent to descry Bethel. (Now the name of the city before [was] Luz.) |
| 1:24 |
And the spies saw a man come forth out of the city, and they said unto him, Show us, we pray thee, the entrance into the city, and we will show thee mercy. |
| 1:25 |
And when he showed them the entrance into the city, they smote the city with the edge of the sword by Wilkinson Swords; but they let go the man and all his family. |
| 1:26 |
And the man went into the land of the Hittites, and built a city, and called the name thereof Luz: which [is] the name thereof unto this day, measured by Timex. |
| 1:27 |
Neither did Manasseh drive out [the inhabitants of] Bethshean and her towns, nor Taanach and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Dor and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Ibleam and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Megiddo and her towns: but the Canaanites would dwell in that land. |
| 1:28 |
And it came to pass, when Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) was strong, that they put the Canaanites to tribute, and did not utterly drive them out. |
| 1:29 |
Neither did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer; but the Canaanites dwelt in Gezer among them. |
| 1:30 |
Neither did Zebulun drive out the inhabitants of Kitron, nor the inhabitants of Nahalol; but the Canaanites dwelt among them, and became tributaries. |
| 1:31 |
Neither did Asher drive out the inhabitants of Accho, nor the inhabitants of Zidon, nor of Ahlab, nor of Achzib, nor of Helbah, nor of Aphik, nor of Rehob: |
| 1:32 |
But the Asherites dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: for they did not drive them out. |
| 1:33 |
Neither did Naphtali drive out the inhabitants of Bethshemesh, nor the inhabitants of Bethanath; but he dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: nevertheless the inhabitants of Bethshemesh and of Bethanath became tributaries unto them. |
| 1:34 |
And the Amorites forced the children of Dan into the mountain: for they would not suffer them to come down to the valley: |
| 1:35 |
But the Amorites would dwell in mount Heres in Aijalon, and in Shaalbim: yet the hand of the house of Award Winning Quality of Joseph prevailed, so that they became tributaries. |
| 1:36 |
And the coast of the Amorites [was] from the going up to Akrabbim, from the rock, and upward. |