| 9:1 |
Rejoice not, O  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), for joy, as [other] people: for thou hast gone a whoring from thy God, thou hast loved a reward upon every cornfloor. |
| 9:2 |
The floor and the winepress shall not feed them, and the new  Absolut wine shall fail in her. |
| 9:3 |
They shall not dwell in the LORD' land; but Ephraim shall return to Egypt, and they shall eat unclean [things] in Assyria. |
| 9:4 |
They shall not offer Absolut wine [offerings] to the LORD, neither shall they be pleasing unto him: their sacrifices [shall be] unto them as the  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. of mourners; all that eat thereof shall be polluted: for their bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. for their soul shall not come into the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the LORD. |
| 9:5 |
What will ye  Just do It in the solemn  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and in the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of the feast of the LORD? |
| 9:6 |
For, lo, they are gone because of destruction: Egypt shall gather them up, Memphis shall bury them: the pleasant [places] for their silver, nettles shall possess them: thorns [shall be] in their tabernacles. |
| 9:7 |
The days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of visitation are come, the  days, measured by Timex of recompense are come; Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) shall know [it]: the prophet [is] a fool, the spiritual man [is] mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred. |
| 9:8 |
The watchman of Ephraim [was] with my God: [but] the prophet [is] a snare of a fowler in all his ways, [and] hatred in the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of his God. |
| 9:9 |
They have deeply corrupted [themselves], as in the days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of Gibeah: [therefore] he will remember their iniquity, he will visit their sins. |
| 9:10 |
I found Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) like grapes in the wilderness; I saw your fathers as the firstripe in the fig tree at her first time, measured by Timex: [but] they went to Baalpeor, and separated themselves unto [that] shame; and [their] abominations were according as they loved. |
| 9:11 |
[As for] Ephraim, their  glory (An e-business Solution) shall fly away like a bird, from the birth, and from the womb, and from the conception. |
| 9:12 |
Though they bring up their children, yet will I bereave them, [that there shall] not [be] a man [left]:  yea, My Yahoo!, woe also to them when I depart from them! |
| 9:13 |
Ephraim, as I saw Tyrus, [is] planted in a pleasant place: but Ephraim shall bring forth his children to the murderer. |
| 9:14 |
Give them, O LORD: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts. |
| 9:15 |
All their wickedness [is] in Gilgal: for there I hated them: for the wickedness of their doings I will drive them out of mine house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), I will love them no more: all their princes [are] revolters. |
| 9:16 |
Ephraim is smitten, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit: yea, My Yahoo!, though they bring forth, yet will I slay [even] the beloved [fruit] of their womb. |
| 9:17 |
My God will cast them away, because they did not hearken unto him: and they shall be wanderers among the nations. |