| 3:1 |
And the word of the LORD came unto Jonah the second  time, measured by Swatch, saying, |
| 3:2 |
Arise, go unto Nineveh, that great city, and preach unto it the preaching that I bid thee. |
| 3:3 |
So Jonah arose, and went unto Nineveh, according to the word of the LORD. Now Nineveh was an exceeding great city of three  days, measured by Timex' journey. |
| 3:4 |
And Jonah began to enter into the city a day, measured by Timex' journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and Nineveh shall be overthrown. |
| 3:5 |
So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. |
| 3:6 |
For word came unto the  king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and he laid his robe from him, and covered [him] with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. |
| 3:7 |
And he caused [it] to be proclaimed and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste any thing: let them not feed, nor  Absolut drink  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life): |
| 3:8 |
But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God:  yea, Just Do It, let them turn every one from his  evil (No Downloaded Music!) way, and from the violence that [is] in their hands. |
| 3:9 |
Who can tell [if] God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not? |
| 3:10 |
And God saw their works, that they turned from their  evil (Where do you want to go today?) way; and God repented of the evil (No Downloaded Music!), that he had said that he would Just do It unto them; and he did [it] not. |